Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xxsakuraxx

Offline (the 08/28/2015 at 1:15pm) | Search for a member

xxsakuraxx

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3226
  • Number of comments : 183
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 34 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

xxsakuraxx's page activity

Visits<b>Mons</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 3:26pm<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 3:27pm<b>Scourge13</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 9:42pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 6:44pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 1:03am<b>GrimReefer66</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 11:55am<b>StonerSongbird</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 6:17am<b>alexanderavatar</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 8:23am<b>NodakN8V</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 6:23pm<b>gopi</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 11:41am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 12:35am<b>xSaru</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 6:29pm<b>SamMelody</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 6:04pm<b>ENCOURAGER</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 3:57pm<b>devonj</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 2:46pm<b>almostfree_kira</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 10:57am<b>AlexanderDavidd</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 10:45am<b>bjake93mec</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 7:45am

Fucked!<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 11:21pm<b>gopi</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 2:36pm<b>im_a_black_guy</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 9:59pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 9:10am

xxsakuraxx's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of xxsakuraxx's badges

xxsakuraxx's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. -Mom and Dad." FML

#20874309
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59535) - you deserved it (24754)

On 09/09/2013 at 11:15am - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I tried to get my golden retriever to stand in front of our church for a very short time to illustrate the point of a sermon. When I brought my dog up, he mounted the pastor's leg and began humping him. FML

#20873553
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37812) - you deserved it (8995)

On 09/08/2013 at 9:42pm - animals - by sillydoggy - United States

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

#20865525
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44290) - you deserved it (4888)

On 09/03/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43319) - you deserved it (7360)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, my crew and I were berated by a client for not installing her new hardwood floor on time. We were only halfway through the day, but apparently it should have only taken "like, an hour?" because "The guys on the TV shows do it that fast." FML

#20861177
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44655) - you deserved it (2622)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:44am - work - by smashyonewfloors - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

#20860349
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38995) - you deserved it (13179)

On 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm - kids - by thanks, dad... (woman) - Romania (Maramures)

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

Today, I won a lottery at my local grocery store. Excited, I went to claim my prize, only to discover it was a bottle of red wine. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML

#20858175
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43468) - you deserved it (3235)

On 08/28/2013 at 5:47pm - misc - by notsolucky - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I asked my boss for a raise, explaining that another shop offered me a job at a higher rate, but I would stay if he would offer me the same. Instead, he fired me then called the other shop and said I was fired for failing a drug test. FML

#20857270
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56276) - you deserved it (7317)

On 08/27/2013 at 11:21pm - work - by nowork - United States (New York)

Today, it was the day of my wedding. I had a massive headache a couple of hours before the ceremony so I decided to take a nap. I told my brother to wake me up an hour before it started. He forgot. Now everyone thinks I ran out on my wife. FML

#20856967
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46880) - you deserved it (6800)

On 08/27/2013 at 8:23pm - love - by dhskkf (man) - United States

Today, when I got back to my dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML

#20846099
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44207) - you deserved it (2579)

On 08/20/2013 at 8:54am - animals - by TheRoad42 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I walked in on my brother smoking weed. He immediately tried to hide it by dropping it down his pants, still lit. Screaming in pain, he pulled down his pants. The ashes burned his knob. I had to take him to the emergency room. FML

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

#20842823
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55220) - you deserved it (3348)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:37am - kids - by DrtySnchez - United States (Georgia)

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: