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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 30 January 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1893
  • Number of comments : 140
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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xX_LilSammie_Xx's page activity

Visits<b>raven83</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 9:03am<b>trevieh47</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 1:33pm<b>yenze</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 4:47pm<b>Noobish_Elk</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 12:34am<b>Xx_Slayer_xX</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 9:52am<b>jill97</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 3:19am<b>skyironsword</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 11:18pm<b>MannyM</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 8:14pm<b>jwp0211</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 5:38am<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 4:58pm<b>hullarms</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 8:34am<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 1:13pm<b>Spacial</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 8:45am<b>sarahhhl</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 8:58am<b>Bgrish</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 12:20am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 8:57am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 1:20pm<b>deadpoolkilledu</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 9:19pm

Fucked!<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 9:55pm

xX_LilSammie_Xx's FML badges


You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of xX_LilSammie_Xx's badges

xX_LilSammie_Xx's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

by Lilypad / 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

by Bella / 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

by anonymaiacciu / 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm / France / Intimacy

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

by stop it ninja / 10/14/2012 at 3:00am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got into an argument with my wife over how she spends too much time with her gay best friend. Now she says that if I want to ever get intimate with her again, I'll have to let her watch as I give him a striptease. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2012 at 2:26pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 01/03/2012 at 6:07pm / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

by blegh / 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend referred to her yeast infection as "making bread." I can never look at bread the same way. FML

by themuffinman / 12/27/2011 at 10:15am / Japan / Health

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

by Aly / 12/09/2011 at 10:40am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, at work, my mouse cursor kept randomly moving all over the screen, and messed up an entire day's attempted work. As I was leaving, I overheard one of my co-workers saying he'd plugged a wireless mouse adapter into my computer, and had been trolling me all day. FML

by tech_support / 11/04/2011 at 12:05pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Work

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The lights kept on going on and off. Why? The lights are activated by "clap on, clap off." It killed the mood. FML

by KayleeXLoVe21 / 11/03/2011 at 7:48pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

by Goaway / 08/14/2011 at 7:20am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my twit of a husband admitted to falling for an internet scam involving a dead foreign politician, the promise of a share in millions of dollars currently stuck in a bank, and him having wired a large amount of our money to "bribe an official". FML

by Username / 08/04/2011 at 5:15am / United States / Money