About wondercat40 : Hey! If you ever need to let off steam or anything or talk about thing, feel free to message me about it! I won't judge, and I don't bite!
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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wondercat40's favorite FMLs
Today, I saw a cute guy and decided to say hi. As I started to think about things to talk about, one story in particular about a drummer who looked like Jesus stuck out in my mind. I was so nervous that instead of saying hi, I blurted out, "Some people look like Jesus!" and took off. FML
by wondercat40 / 04/24/2014 at 5:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, I went to a restaurant for a friend's birthday. There were two very attractive waiters. They waited until I went to the toilet to sit down, talk to my friends and hit on them. They promptly left upon my return. Men avoid me. FML
by kittykat798 / 04/16/2014 at 8:00pm / United Kingdom (Dundee City) / Love
by Ticklish / 04/13/2014 at 5:33am / United States (Iowa) / Love
by Vampprobs / 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Ohgodmother / 02/28/2014 at 4:06am / Australia (Tasmania) / Kids
by ashleylynn17 / 02/25/2014 at 4:59pm / Miscellaneous
Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML
by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 10:20am / United States (Nevada) / Animals
Today, the boy who sits next to me in class accidentally dropped his sketch pad. It turns out he's really talented at drawing portraits. They're so good that I could recognize myself in all of them. FML
by Anonymous / 02/12/2014 at 8:12pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother-in-law called me every 2 hours, starting at 8pm and stopping at 10am the following morning. She says that since my wife and I are expecting our first child, I should "get used to waking up at all hours." She calls my work phone, which I'm not allowed to switch off. FML
by dope_mcfly / 01/29/2014 at 11:55am / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
by cjgreer70 / 01/18/2014 at 6:09pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML
by Anonymous / 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm / Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional) / Animals
Today, I ate some amazing homemade brownies that my best friend's wife made for us. She waited till I'd shoved a third one into my mouth before she mentioned she made them with breast milk. Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true. FML
by Anonymous / 01/02/2014 at 3:36pm / United Kingdom (Fife) / Miscellaneous
Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML
by Purplexus / 01/02/2014 at 9:13am / Turkey (Ankara) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 19-year-old brother subjected me to yet another rant about how the writers of My Little Pony aren't writing the show for people like him any more, the "true fans", otherwise known as pimply-faced adults who don't use deodorant and only shower once a week. FML
by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 3:50pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by anon / 12/27/2013 at 2:28am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous