About whatsupitsbrian : Hey my names Ben and I'm looking for a nice b***ch to get it on with(; hmu. I have some blue eyes, I'm about 3 feet tall on all fours and I weigh almost 50 pounds(; all muscle
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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whatsupitsbrian's favorite FMLs
Today, I was passing notes in class with my crush. I started to pour my heart out and tell him about how I've liked him for years. I was caught by the teacher. He looked at it, laughed, and tore it up. He then looked at me and said, "I just saved you from years of embarrassment. You're welcome." FML
by Rachel / 10/23/2014 at 12:04am / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML
by mykodu / 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML
by Anonymous / 09/18/2014 at 3:32am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by littleteapot / 09/04/2014 at 10:47pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/03/2014 at 2:24pm / United States (New York) / Love
by s0728 / 09/01/2014 at 5:37pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by anon / 08/31/2014 at 11:14am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/20/2014 at 6:14pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love
by BagelTheOtaku / 08/20/2014 at 1:15am / United States (Georgia) / Health
Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man, and that my ass was grounds for discussion." FML
by tlm84 / 07/27/2014 at 10:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by chloecamp / 07/14/2014 at 11:35pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by weeping_angel_ / 07/12/2014 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I went on a date and ate in the park. When I crossed my legs under the table, I scraped my knee and got a lot of splinters in it. When I got back home and started digging out the splinters, my dad furiously demanded to know why I'd been on my knees during the date. FML
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 9:36pm / United States (Idaho) / Health
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 7:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids