About tygerarmy : King of Queens
I'm a Ginger
US Army - Intel Analyst
Concert, Stand Up Comedy, Podcast Junkie
I ♣ baby seals!
I'm not naked I'm Tattooed
I ♥ Tattooed Girls
B Pos; it's my outlook on life, I can't help it, it's in my blood.
About tygerarmy : King of Queens
tygerarmy's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
The Thumb returns
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.
tygerarmy's favorite FMLs
Today, a customer got angry with me, because store policy says we can't accept returns of unsealed video games unless there's actual damage to the disc. The guy got enraged and started yelling about how I'm a "useless fuckwhistle". I almost got written up for laughing so hard at the insult. FML
by Anonymous / 04/01/2016 at 4:21pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work
by Lanthane / 03/31/2016 at 2:00am / France (Aquitaine) / Animals
Today, I introduced my long-distance boyfriend of 2 years to my friends. I told him how my friends jokingly call him my imaginary Internet boyfriend. He thought it was so funny that when they met, he claimed to be my cousin, saying that I paid him to pretend to be my boyfriend. They believed him. FML
by Anonymous / 03/30/2016 at 2:53am / United States (Maryland) / Love
by in this day and age.... / 03/27/2016 at 12:53pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by yova / 03/27/2016 at 4:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Desiree_lianne / 03/26/2016 at 5:02pm / United States / Love
Today, I'm in training at an animal shelter. There's an adorable tiny kitten there, which my boss said not to touch it because it's feral. "No way he's dangerous" I said, reaching into the cage to pet it. It struck like a cobra and tore up my arm. My first on-the-job injury is from a KITTEN. FML
by Anonymous / 03/25/2016 at 1:05pm / United States (Florida) / Animals
by sorkin15 / 03/24/2016 at 5:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, while away on training with the army, my housemates rang me to tell me some news. They had found a perfect house for next year and they had put an offer on it. The only problem? There are 5 of us and the house is for 4. Guess who hasn't been included. FML
by stressedoutsquaddie / 03/22/2016 at 5:02pm / United Kingdom (York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I received a letter from an eBay seller for whom I recently left an honest, negative review. I don't know what I was expecting, but I certainly wasn't ready for what spilled out coating my jeans, shoes, and brand new carpet: Glitter. FML
by okaydisarray / 03/22/2016 at 4:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by I hate my brother / 03/20/2016 at 2:53pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, at the supermarket, I picked up a pack of toilet rolls, at which point my 5-year-old daughter turned to me and screamed, "A CLEAN BUTTHOLE IS A HAPPY BUTTHOLE!" in front of a dozen other people. I have no idea where she heard that. FML
by humiliated / 03/20/2016 at 7:54am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/20/2016 at 2:24am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/18/2016 at 4:56pm / United States / Love
Today, after asking my hubby for what seems the millionth time to stop shoving his finger into my bum crack, I thought it would be funny to give him a taste of his own medicine by doing it to him. Right as my finger was in his crack, he let loose a huge fart. FML
by Grimmy / 03/17/2016 at 4:12am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my new husband and I embarked on our honeymoon together that has been months in the planning… Today my boss fussed at me for something my co-worker did yesterday "because you were sitting right… Today, I had sex with a guy I had wanted for awhile. Or I think it counts as sex. Really, I thought…