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tonjuu

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tonjuu

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tonjuu's page activity

Visits<b>sirliam99</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 1:21pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 7:13pm

tonjuu's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

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tonjuu's favorite FMLs

Today, a girl in my class introduced herself to me for the fourth time this semester. Am I really that invisible? FML

#21517019
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20826) - you deserved it (1693)

On 01/19/2016 at 3:07pm - misc - by Mr_Yato (man) - United States

Today, at the age of 20, I still have a bed time. It is strictly enforced by my cat via endless meows if I am up past 11 pm. FML

#21510035
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21266) - you deserved it (4067)

On 01/01/2016 at 2:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I overheard my mother-in-law and sister-in-law over the baby monitor. They were talking about how much better off my daughter would be if I were to die. FML

#21509769
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24315) - you deserved it (1489)

On 12/31/2015 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I'm spending Christmas Eve at the hospital. Why? Because when I blew my nose, a ball of flesh connected to a tendril of skin shot out, and it wouldn't go back up. FML

#21507325
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20574) - you deserved it (1374)

On 12/24/2015 at 2:01pm - health - by yek (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I complained about period cramps. My boyfriend said periods can't be that bad since "girls must orgasm every time they put a tampon in." FML

#21505128
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24245) - you deserved it (2027)

On 12/18/2015 at 11:37am - love - by periods (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to work late. Due to delayed trains and a missed connection, it was almost midnight when I finally got home. When I walked into the bedroom, I found my girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie and fast asleep. FML

#21504013
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27924) - you deserved it (2403)

On 12/15/2015 at 1:10pm - love - by Anonymous - Germany (Bayern)

Today, my step mom sat me down and told me that she doesn't think that my dad is my biological father because she hasn't gotten pregnant from him. I don't think she quite understands the concept of being a step mom. FML

#21502978
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22973) - you deserved it (1966)

On 12/12/2015 at 3:58pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a cute girl I know in passing approached me very nervously and blushing like mad. She gave me a note with a number on it, said to call her, then ran away. When I called the number later, it was one of those rejection hotlines. What the hell? FML

#21496594
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26458) - you deserved it (1744)

On 11/25/2015 at 7:32am - misc - by anthony (man) - Luxembourg

Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML

#21496534
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25524) - you deserved it (2650)

On 11/25/2015 at 1:00am - kids - by coolest_mom (woman) -

Today, we buried my mom. I walked past my sister's husband just in time to hear him mutter: "Hope the fire's nice and hot down there, you old hag." I told my sister. She wouldn't believe me and accused me of trying to start drama. FML

#21495367
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24583) - you deserved it (2489)

On 11/22/2015 at 12:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the local gossip was in line behind me at the shop. She saw me buying pregnancy tests. The good news is that I'm not pregnant. The bad news is that she'll definitely have everyone thinking I am. FML

#21494835
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20936) - you deserved it (2025)

On 11/20/2015 at 12:20pm - misc - by notpregnantthankgod - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his penis and shocked him. FML

#21493038
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25886) - you deserved it (4813)

On 11/15/2015 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by nnniii - United States (Washington)

Today, a kid came into the classroom I teach in to tell me there was "something" in the girls' toilets. "What kind of something", I asked? I was not expecting the answer "A period mural". FML

#21490397
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23098) - you deserved it (3133)

On 11/09/2015 at 2:33pm - kids - by Kidsthesedays (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my boyfriend found out that male goats will stick their tongues out, snort, and garble at female goats in heat. Now he's doing it to me at all manner of times, sound effects and all. I now know why goats ram their heads into things repeatedly. FML

#21479981
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23642) - you deserved it (2179)

On 10/14/2015 at 12:22pm - love - by StillnothowIimaginedmydaygoing (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had my first open job interview, which is when a group of applicants are interviewed together. I also found out that despite being great at one-on-one interviews, I will panic and make myself look like a complete moron when I'm part of a group. FML

#21477479
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21190) - you deserved it (2212)

On 10/08/2015 at 9:07am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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