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tonjuu

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tonjuu

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tonjuu's page activity

Visits<b>sirliam99</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 1:21pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 7:13pm

tonjuu's FML badges

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

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tonjuu's favorite FMLs

Today, I got punched in the face, had hair ripped out of my skull and broke a tooth on the pavement when I fell. Some guy mistook me for someone else. FML

#21436269
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21821) - you deserved it (1247)

On 07/04/2015 at 9:18am - misc - by Zizi (woman) - Norway (Nordland)

Today, one of my friends asked me to flirt with her boyfriend to see if he would flirt back. Knowing this was a trust test, I agreed. She got pissed at me when he flirted back and still isn't speaking to me. FML

#21436223
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21119) - you deserved it (3803)

On 07/04/2015 at 4:55am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, at my work in a call centre, a man called up on a very quiet line to report a car accident on his father's behalf because his father was deaf. I asked him to ask his dad if he was OK after the accident. I'd misheard him and he had said "dead", not "deaf". He started crying. FML

#21430016
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29169) - you deserved it (3549)

On 06/22/2015 at 7:35am - work - by Iamsosorry (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, when I turned on the TV, there was a picture of a wanted murderer. The picture looked just like my boyfriend. FML

#21430015
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27256) - you deserved it (2367)

On 06/22/2015 at 7:26am - misc - by 1234 - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

#21428553
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28605) - you deserved it (11694)

On 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by shmarf (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML

#21427542
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23597) - you deserved it (11508)

On 06/17/2015 at 11:41am - misc - by HURP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after handing over the cash to buy my sister's car off her, she refused to sign any of the paperwork, and later put an ad on Craigslist selling the same car. I got scammed by my own sister. FML

Today, I got engaged. When I called my father, who is out of state for a few days, to tell him, his response was, "What'd you do that for?" FML

Today, I was looking at old pictures with my mom and saw one of myself crying in kindergarten. I asked why I was crying. She said that was the day a boy kissed me on the cheek, and I thought I'd gotten pregnant. She then decided to give me the sex talk. FML

#21416031
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30042) - you deserved it (2954)

On 05/26/2015 at 11:40am - intimacy - by shitty shit - United States (Indiana)

Today, I saw my uncle, whom I have not seen in five years, at a family gathering. His reaction to seeing me? "Holy SHIT you have BOOBS! The guys must be all over you!" I awkwardly replied, "No..." Then he muttered, "I know I would." FML

Today, I found out my mom put breast milk in my cereal until I was 7 years old. FML

#21413959
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30798) - you deserved it (2695)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:17am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to wake me up by fingering me. Let's just say going to the ER to get your tampon dug out isn't fun. FML

#21410572
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33129) - you deserved it (2588)

On 05/15/2015 at 3:54pm - intimacy - by nazirah4shizzle (woman) - United States

Today, my brother and I had a long argument. He believes wholeheartedly that pineapples are not actually fruits, but berries. When I showed him a google search, he accused me of "faking" it. FML

#21410455
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23496) - you deserved it (3481)

On 05/15/2015 at 9:58am - misc - by Anon - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to bring my 92-year-old neighbor some cake we had just made. When I walked in, she was wearing pants. That's it. I stared blinking in shock for a few seconds before running away, yelling, "So sorry. I brought you cake. Real tired. Gonna sleep now. Bye." FML

#21409137
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24039) - you deserved it (3027)

On 05/12/2015 at 8:33pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend freaked out and kept asking me if I was sure I wouldn't get pregnant, because I forgot to take my birth control pill last night. We didn't actually have sex; he apparently thought me simply missing the pill would magically get me pregnant. The hell? FML

#21408378
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31833) - you deserved it (4827)

On 05/11/2015 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Midtjylland)



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