tmaq973

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tmaq973

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1289
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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tmaq973's page activity

Visits<b>Reva750</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 4:57pm<b>LostMuffins</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 5:19pm<b>ImImature</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 1:56pm<b>HeatherSuzanne</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 1:33am<b>HungryADE</b> - the 01/26/2013 at 12:33am<b>taylorperson</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 4:47pm<b>ycrem0n</b> - the 10/28/2012 at 9:16am

tmaq973's FML badges

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I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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tmaq973's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife brought my 5-year-old daughter to visit me at the office. My boss has a speech impediment, and when she heard it, she exclaimed, "Hey my daddy can sound just like you! Show him daddy! Show him!" FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2013 at 3:14am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I watched my neighbor shake cat food calling, "Come here Mollie" at his back door. I then saw my own cat run into his house. I now know why my cat is so fat and never replies to me calling her Bonnie. I guess I'm being cheated on. FML

by kitty / 11/11/2012 at 5:10am / Australia / Animals

Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off, the elderly man said while patting his wife's arm with a smile, "Carol used to make noises like that too, back in the day." FML

by Ceej / 10/28/2012 at 12:06am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my dad was teaching me how to drive. He told me that stop signs with white outlines are "optional." I ran through the next one I saw and got pulled over by a cop. My dad is making me pay the ticket for being "that stupid." Thanks dad. FML

by Dinger1992 / 10/23/2012 at 9:19am / United States / Money

Today, my sister-in-law was diagnosed with breast cancer. My mother then confided in me that she suspected it was a prank to get more money from our family. FML

by iamsolid / 10/20/2012 at 11:10am / United States / Health

Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML

by Juiced / 09/26/2012 at 2:46pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML

by LawStudent / 09/19/2012 at 10:54am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I moved into my new apartment. I was feeling really excited until my new neighbor knocked on my door and left me what looks like rabbit ears on my welcome mat. He just stared at me expectantly as though I should be thankful. FML

by Nickie809 / 09/17/2012 at 10:59am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, my father tried to secretly follow me all day, because he doesn't believe that I have any "real" errands to run or friends to meet with. He's actually convinced that I'm living some secret double life with another family. FML

by Bree / 08/15/2012 at 11:15am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, as I sat down in the plane, I realized that for the next seven hours I would be sitting next to a priest who refused to stop praying aloud, and an old man who wanted to tell me the story of how the toothpick came to be. FML

by skrillexblewme / 08/02/2012 at 12:30pm / United States / Transportation

Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2012 at 12:25am / Denmark (Sjelland) / Love

Today, while bussing at my restaurant job, I felt a cold, wet animal slither down my leg. I started shrieking loudly and dancing dementedly to get it off, and everyone in the restaurant turned to stare. Then I realized there was a hole in my pocket and some quarters had slid out down my leg. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 11:41am / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML

by mustanggt / 07/10/2012 at 11:39am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend doesn't have time to text me back, but he does have time to post an entire Facebook album dedicated to cats. FML

by JJBones / 06/29/2012 at 6:03am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother met my boyfriend. She thought it would be appropriate to tell him that he looks just like my ex-husband. FML

by Anonymous / 06/28/2012 at 8:08am / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous