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the_fanciest_man's favorite FMLs
by fat and broke / 06/28/2015 at 3:17am / United States (Washington) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 05/27/2015 at 9:39am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Health
Today, after being with my fiance for almost a decade, my future mother-in-law has been accusing me of being a gold digger because we want to buy a house together. She has conveniently forgotten her son was out of work for two years and I supported the both of us. FML
by BadGoldDigger / 05/26/2015 at 8:18am / United States / Love
by jamisbetter / 04/11/2015 at 8:34am / United Kingdom / Health
by shawnsmuffins / 03/19/2015 at 10:23pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by anon / 03/16/2015 at 12:10am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML
by tulisa / 02/20/2015 at 11:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
by Idek / 01/30/2015 at 11:27am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at work, I had to spend an hour and a half on the phone, listening to an old lady relive her entire day in excruciating detail. We're not allowed to hang up on customers, and she was extremely quick to dismiss all my attempts to steer the call back on topic. FML
by gotta euthanize em all / 11/29/2014 at 2:45pm / Canada / Work
Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML
by MM / 01/21/2014 at 6:26pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
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- Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long…