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sporteeholmes01's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
sporteeholmes01's favorite FMLs
by lrn2road / 06/24/2014 at 11:04am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, an attractive guy approached me and struck up a conversation. He was friendly and sweet, and gave me his number. As I walked away, my first thought was that someone had played a cruel joke on me. I've had such awful relationships that I can't recognize when someone is actually being sincere. FML
by criley / 06/23/2014 at 9:56pm / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by guest / 06/18/2014 at 9:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML
by 404: sense not found / 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked my 7-year-old daughter what job she would like when she grows up. She calmly replied that she wouldn't have one; she'd just bring her husband round to my place and steal food from me. FML
Today, I woke up to somebody shaking my shoulder. I had slept over at a friend's house, so I assumed my friend was just fooling around. With my head under the pillow, I swung my hand at his face then gave him the finger. Turns out, my friend left for basketball and I had slept in. It was his mom. FML
by NickJJ / 05/15/2014 at 10:34pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by IBS / 05/06/2014 at 5:11am / China (Shanghai) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad and I got into an argument. When I was proven wrong, he said, "Good job, genius." I shot back the first thing that popped into my head, which was "I am not a genius!" He laughed and says that if I die before him, he's having that engraved on my tombstone. FML
by Anonymous / 04/25/2014 at 5:42pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, my teenage daughter tried to convince me that the UK is a part of Canada. After I pulled out a map to prove her wrong, she got all angry and defensive, and said that nobody's perfect at "geometry". My daughter is an idiot. FML
by Anonymous / 04/25/2014 at 5:21pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume over and over, and in different languages. I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go". FML
by fuckyouharddad / 04/15/2014 at 3:24pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I was sitting in the coffee shop where my boyfriend and I used to go before he broke up with me about a week ago. I was missing him and wishing he was there, when all of a sudden this 14-year-old kid comes up to me and says, "He's not coming, you may as well go home." FML
by Anonymous / 03/27/2014 at 7:03pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Love
by husbands addiction / 03/26/2014 at 2:00pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML
by emergencyroom / 03/15/2014 at 8:21am / United States (Maryland) / Kids
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…