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spiers1

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spiers1
  • Town/Country : ??????, Russia
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 136
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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spiers1's favorite FMLs

Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML

#21107872
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38394) - you deserved it (8146)

On 04/08/2014 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by that girl (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

#21107421
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39622) - you deserved it (5694)

On 04/08/2014 at 3:56am - misc - by the long distance guy - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML

#21104415
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30148) - you deserved it (16568)

On 04/04/2014 at 1:26pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML

#21086197
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37981) - you deserved it (7410) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2014 at 12:33am - work - by LeChameauTrisomique - France (Centre)

Today, we had a surprise party for my boss. Someone turned out all the lights. I was so scared of the dark, the first thing my boss saw when he walked in was all my co-workers watching me scream, "TURN IT ON!" FML

#21083937
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31412) - you deserved it (14169)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, the parent of a student called to ask me about a homework assignment. At the end of the call, she told me that I seem to be losing my "Asian accent" from when she first talked to me in the summer. I was born in the US, grew up in NJ and speak perfect English. FML

#21063588
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33483) - you deserved it (2652)

On 02/17/2014 at 5:41pm - work - by kdubz23 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was bitched out at 2am by my parents, for trying to "sneak out." I was sneaking out of my bedroom to take a crap. FML

#21048094
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39516) - you deserved it (3392)

On 02/02/2014 at 12:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's house, and he was taking a shower. I had to take a crap real bad, but his apartment only has the one bathroom. I couldn't wait for him to finish, and ended having to shit in a plastic bag. FML

#21044466
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43254) - you deserved it (18773)

On 01/29/2014 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

#21008001
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41440) - you deserved it (4618)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Today, my roommate, who happens to be a writer, got so pissed off at his editor that he got drunk, wrapped his arms around my waist, and only stopped when I agreed to spoon him. This is not the first time this has happened either. FML

#20989886
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35879) - you deserved it (4767)

On 12/12/2013 at 3:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML

#20972428
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37414) - you deserved it (3402)

On 11/27/2013 at 12:51pm - misc - by paranoid neighborhood - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend tried explaining a duck flying into our living room and taking a shit everywhere as "paranormal activity". FML

#20963751
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35346) - you deserved it (3144)

On 11/19/2013 at 8:09pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

#20959868
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22129) - you deserved it (42759)

On 11/16/2013 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

#20959118
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42411) - you deserved it (4017)

On 11/15/2013 at 8:53pm - kids - by I don't know, son (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend, feeling pretty low. I said something along the lines of "You like me even when I look like shit." He replied, "Ah, that's just how you naturally look." FML

#20942129
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37346) - you deserved it (5889)

On 11/02/2013 at 1:06am - love - by lucy_g (woman) - United States



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Thursday 10 April 2014

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