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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1966
  • Number of comments : 138
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About soccerstar1996 : .

soccerstar1996's page activity

Visits<b>alex997</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 3:12pm<b>FiendHunter</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 9:22pm<b>ke_swag</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 3:25am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 2:55pm<b>Paras_800</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 9:08pm<b>Kitty_Kat16</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 10:18am<b>immaloser95</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 12:51am<b>waltwhitman</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 10:30pm<b>oops6663</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 1:16pm<b>Snake1105</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 9:15am<b>tigerborn69</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 3:42pm<b>MaryssaJean</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 10:01pm<b>DrWafflez</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 10:07pm<b>konacoffee</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 3:08pm<b>Insane94</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 11:55am<b>ScottVining</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 5:28pm<b>warsun</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 4:38am<b>alexgabr</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 12:25pm

Fucked!<b>waltwhitman</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 4:30am

soccerstar1996's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of soccerstar1996's badges

soccerstar1996's favorite FMLs

Today, I was bored so I got my little brother's toy spaceship and a teddy bear, went to my room and started flying them around, having dog fights, making explosion noises and humming epic orchestral music. My mom opened my bedroom door, showing our new hot female neighbour around the house. I'm 19. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2010 at 12:10am / Animals

Today, I found out that if you let your son install a new shower head, he won't tighten it properly. So when you turn the shower on, it will shoot out at rocket speed, hitting you in the face. Then when you grab the shower handle to prevent yourself falling backwards, you will just rip that out and hit your head again. FML

by Ndanick1193 / 10/16/2009 at 10:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

by NinjaPanda88 / 08/01/2009 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I checked my facebook, and my wife of 5 years was listed as single. I then write on her wall that it is ok to announce to be married. She writes back saying that we have to talk and to come to the kitchen. My wife divorced me over facebook. FML

by nothappywithlife / 03/30/2009 at 5:34pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

by JAY22 / 03/26/2009 at 7:41am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a party and the cops came to bust the party. I jumped out the window of a second story house in order to avoid getting arrested. I broke my leg in three places and got a concussion. The cops let everyone go with a warning. FML

by natty / 03/16/2009 at 12:02pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML

by twit / 03/15/2009 at 9:14pm / United States (Maryland) / Money

Today, I fell asleep in my driver's ed class, and I woke up in a middle of a dream laughing. Everyone stared at me. I found out that the teacher had just finished talking about his vegetative niece who didn't wear a seat belt. FML

by Biggest Jerk / 02/14/2009 at 6:15pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML

by Noname / 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love