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slowlybreakingme

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slowlybreakingme
  • Town/Country : San Diego, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 October 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 4184
  • Number of comments : 125
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

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slowlybreakingme's FML badges

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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slowlybreakingme's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the crazy old man that sleep walks naked around my neighborhood every night is my grandpa. And he's not sleepwalking. FML

#17340162
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29192) - you deserved it (2305)

On 08/02/2011 at 2:46am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36941) - you deserved it (10875)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48864) - you deserved it (9568)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the airport. A creepy man smiled at me, so I politely smiled back. I then realized his shirt said "Smile if you take it in the ass." He then winked at me and walked off. FML

#17315983
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34541) - you deserved it (11899)

On 07/31/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by creepedout - United States

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

#17304355
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8171) - you deserved it (53878)

On 07/30/2011 at 12:38am - animals - by loser4life - United States (Colorado)

Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML

#17298408
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26851) - you deserved it (4577)

On 07/29/2011 at 2:26pm - misc - by someone - United States

Today, while working at Kohl's this woman came up to me and asked if I was Native American, I said yes, she then says "Oh! I thought you guys went extinct." This is the country I live in. FML

#17297056
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40896) - you deserved it (3233)

On 07/29/2011 at 11:18am - work - by crazygirl12 - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex, and it was my first time being on top. I got so into it that when I went to put my hands on the wall for support, the shelf above my bed snapped, with my favorite little cactus falling onto his face. FML

#17294808
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34212) - you deserved it (9134)

On 07/29/2011 at 3:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

#17283152
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28108) - you deserved it (14936)

On 07/28/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML

#17281952
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35433) - you deserved it (5398)

On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

#17279382
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24363) - you deserved it (3977)

On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, someone came over and told my mother, "I'm your son's friend Morris, I need to get something out of his car", so she gave him the keys. I have no friend called Morris, and now I don't have a sound system either. FML

#17266001
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32577) - you deserved it (2656)

On 07/26/2011 at 9:35am - misc - by ceetee - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML

#17261824
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31997) - you deserved it (8021)

On 07/26/2011 at 12:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After saying no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML

#16687170
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30505) - you deserved it (8870)

On 06/15/2011 at 11:53pm - misc - by randomjulz - United States

Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML

#16685518
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33758) - you deserved it (8661)

On 06/15/2011 at 10:42pm - misc - by missy - United States (Alaska)



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