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shamille's favorite FMLs
by ElixirRose / 07/20/2011 at 8:36am / United States (Georgia) / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/05/2011 at 6:28pm / United States (Missouri) / Health
by Anonymous / 05/14/2011 at 7:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Money
by BrownDump / 05/14/2011 at 6:43am / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 05/13/2011 at 8:17pm / United States (Florida) / Geek
by goinginsane / 05/06/2011 at 3:25am / Miscellaneous
Today, while working at a sandwich shop, we had a shortage and could only put so many veggies on one sandwich. I explained this to one man who was grumpy about it, but kept on ordering. I thought everything went well. He thought my face was a good target to launch his completed sandwich at. FML
by epicsandwichartist / 05/05/2011 at 3:13am / United States (Texas) / Work
by Betchsadface / 07/13/2010 at 12:34am / United States / Animals
by liu_kang / 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm / United States / Health
Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML
by gera3gera / 10/06/2009 at 10:07pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
by APetsPet / 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
by unbelievable208 / 08/05/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by Ella / 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I was working as a service writer in an auto service shop. A really cute girl came in to buy a headlight, I offered to install the bulb for her. My hand got stuck behind the headlight, she had to ask one of our mechanics to come remove the air box from her car to get my hand out. FML
by stuck / 06/16/2009 at 11:42pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation
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