shamille

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shamille

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 July 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 30284
  • Number of comments : 466
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About shamille : wooooo!

shamille's page activity

Visits<b>eski2015</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 9:58pm<b>Snip_Snap</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 10:39am<b>DShell</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 1:55am<b>Celeden</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 6:50am<b>goodvsevil1275</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 3:22pm<b>melonqueen</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 10:36pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 5:38am<b>melons</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 8:02pm<b>Quasars</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 1:43am<b>Nail9797</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 6:00pm<b>Michaelaarnett</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 8:16pm<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 1:39am<b>StevoKing666</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 9:36pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 1:49am<b>kaed</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 3:24pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 8:56pm<b>LordGrew</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 5:40am<b>facelick</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 3:52pm

Fucked!<b>eski2015</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 3:58am

shamille's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of shamille's badges

shamille's favorite FMLs

Today, I killed a centipede. Now every little itch I feel, I think it's the centipede's spirit coming back to haunt me. FML

by ElixirRose / 07/20/2011 at 8:36am / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, my mom took me to a counselor because of my addiction to watermelon. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2011 at 6:28pm / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, I found out that my grandma has been sending me birthday money every year. My mom just steals it before I ever see it. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2011 at 7:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Money

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

by BrownDump / 05/14/2011 at 6:43am / United States / Health

Today, I realized my mom cares more about Kurt's bullying problem on Glee than she does for mine. FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2011 at 8:17pm / United States (Florida) / Geek

Today, I was told that I am an incredibly boring person and that it's no wonder I have no friends. I think they're right; last night I dreamt about a nail file. FML

by goinginsane / 05/06/2011 at 3:25am / Miscellaneous

Today, while working at a sandwich shop, we had a shortage and could only put so many veggies on one sandwich. I explained this to one man who was grumpy about it, but kept on ordering. I thought everything went well. He thought my face was a good target to launch his completed sandwich at. FML

by epicsandwichartist / 05/05/2011 at 3:13am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

by Betchsadface / 07/13/2010 at 12:34am / United States / Animals

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

by liu_kang / 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm / United States / Health

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

by hamster cookie / 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm / Kids

Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML

by gera3gera / 10/06/2009 at 10:07pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

by APetsPet / 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML

by unbelievable208 / 08/05/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

by Ella / 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was working as a service writer in an auto service shop. A really cute girl came in to buy a headlight, I offered to install the bulb for her. My hand got stuck behind the headlight, she had to ask one of our mechanics to come remove the air box from her car to get my hand out. FML

by stuck / 06/16/2009 at 11:42pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation