pureportedpear

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pureportedpear

42Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 14 June 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3139
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About pureportedpear : Just send me a message if you want to talk, or if you need a reccomendation on a anime/manga/manwha and I might be able to help you. Got a few books too but not as many

pureportedpear's page activity

Visits<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - 15 hours ago<b>Emma1562</b> - yesterday at 1:07am<b>Jake42100</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 3:04pm<b>NebraskaChick</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 11:20pm<b>Vanshikap</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 1:34am<b>pmore04</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 6:09am<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 10:21pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 3:02am<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 9:38pm<b>SiaJoy</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 9:05pm<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 4:36am<b>sabby7</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 1:11pm<b>viktoria3</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 3:05pm<b>awishadahbau5</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 11:24am<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 5:56pm<b>Life_sucksXx</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 3:26am<b>914smv</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 2:17pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 2:46pm

Fucked!<b>Emma1562</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 3:52am<b>pmore04</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 9:55am<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 11:56pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 10:10pm<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 3:14am<b>misfit_14_</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 8:20pm<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 8:16pm<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 3:06pm<b>yellow33</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 8:09am<b>Sansa_Kroma</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 4:40am<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 1:20am<b>Idekanymore123</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 8:02pm<b>ally_sanderson</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 2:51pm<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 5:09am<b>oldmanringo</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 12:10pm<b>NotNeeded</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 10:44pm<b>ladyofdeath13</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 2:19am<b>randy98</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 12:12am

pureportedpear's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of pureportedpear's badges

pureportedpear's favorite FMLs

Today, while correcting essays, I spilled ketchup on a student's paper. I managed to successfully turn it into a happy smiley face but when proudly looking at the result, noticed it was right next to the big "F" that I had graded it. FML

by tirf / 02/09/2015 at 5:58pm / Work

Today, my mom asked my siblings and me for help cleaning the kitchen. After working for a half hour while all my siblings sat on the couch, I pointed out that I was the only one working. My mom thanked my siblings for not having attitudes like mine and sent me to my room. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2015 at 11:47pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss brought his cat to the office. Despite our no pet policy, I still managed to get the blame when the crazy animal scratched 3 colleagues and peed on the floor after my boss left for bathroom. Apparently I was supposed to be "looking after it". FML

by anonymous / 02/06/2015 at 12:16am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML

by gumchuck / 02/05/2015 at 4:03pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a nice relaxing dump at school, in my pants, in the middle of class. FML

by m33p / 02/05/2015 at 3:42pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head on my cash register. A second later, I heard roaring laughter from the security room, followed by someone saying to play it back. I'd almost convinced myself it wasn't about me, when one of the guys came out and gave me a thumb up. FML

by fxck / 02/04/2015 at 2:28pm / Work

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML

by nosexforthee / 01/23/2015 at 2:25pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML

by EvilBubbles / 01/08/2015 at 10:45pm / Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I met an American guy at a bar. I felt flattered when he said, "You know what they say about Swedish girls, all so beautiful." After a pause, he filled in with, "What the fuck happened to you?" FML

by peceout / 12/02/2014 at 3:48am / Sweden (Hallands Lan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my wife and I drove two hours from our rural town to buy a new sofa. When we got home, it took us an hour to figure out there was no way to fit it through our door. We made the two hour drive back to return it, only to find the store was closed. FML

by davy0540 / 11/30/2014 at 1:09am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my little sister asked if she could play on my laptop, but I said no because I was writing an essay for school. She then bit herself hard and showed the mark to our parents, saying I did it. As they bitched me out, my sister got on my laptop and deleted my half-finished essay. FML

by anotherhuman / 11/30/2014 at 12:48am / United States (Florida) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was walking back to my dorm with my boyfriend. He was being really sweet as he held my hand. We were about to kiss goodnight and as he pushed some hair out of my face he said, "Can we hurry it up? I'm about to rip one." FML

by grossedout / 10/31/2014 at 8:39pm / Love

Today, as I was walking home from work, I got chased halfway home by a wolf. Yes, a wolf. I live in central Norway. FML

by noxiffic / 10/31/2014 at 8:31am / Norway (Rogaland) / Animals

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm / United States / Kids