poolcleaner

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poolcleaner

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 338
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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poolcleaner's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

poolcleaner's favorite FMLs

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

by violated ._. / 08/22/2013 at 6:45pm / United States / Animals

Today, my computer stopped connecting to the corporate network. I know what the problem is, but our tech support is so clueless that the only thing they do is utter the dreaded words, "Did you try turning it off and back on?" Meanwhile my boss is yelling at me for not getting any work done. FML

by lord kuntface / 08/22/2013 at 5:33pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by pissing by some drunken loon on a segway. FML

by never thought I'd say that / 08/22/2013 at 3:05pm / Norway (Rogaland) / Transportation

Today, it's my last day before I get my colonoscopy. I've been on a strict chicken broth and jello diet in preparation. My dad thought it would be hilarious to drag me out to one of the best restaurants in town just so I could watch everyone else eat their delicious meals. FML

by Anonymous / 08/22/2013 at 1:56pm / Philippines (Cavite) / Health

Today, someone on Facebook posted a really tiny picture that I couldn't read properly, so I responded, "What is this? A picture for ants?!" Turns out it was a commentary about rape, and now I look like an insensitive jackass. FML

by Baustigt / 08/22/2013 at 10:48am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML

by unfortunate / 06/30/2013 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

by young grandpa / 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I got mugged on the way to my 21st birthday party at a bar. I begged the thug to at least throw me my ID, only to have him laugh and run away singing "happy birthday". FML

by ididntevendrinkthatnight / 06/07/2013 at 1:14am / United States (New York) / Money

Today, I was using a restroom with automatic sinks and toilets. I assumed the paper towel dispensers were automatic too. I stood there waving my hands like an idiot before a girl walked in, pulled a lever, and made paper towels come out for me. FML

by paper towel virgin / 05/23/2013 at 8:24pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to pry my sister's used tampon out from between my dog's jaws. FML

by banj0 / 10/06/2012 at 6:58pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals

Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML

by fernie vazquez / 06/10/2012 at 5:16am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I woke up to people in the parking lot screaming "everybody wake up". They've been doing this at 7 every morning since I moved in 3 months ago. FML

by Tony / 10/18/2011 at 11:10am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me a Paul Frank t-shirt. It says "I'm single." FML

by happybirthday / 09/26/2011 at 1:06pm / United Kingdom (London) / Love

Today, someone had the unique opportunity to be able to say to me, "Excuse me, your pants are on fire." FML

by smokin / 07/26/2011 at 5:22pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I was driving back from school 100 miles away from my home with my fiancé and dog. While stopping for gas, we accidentally left our car keys and cell phones in the car. The dog sat on one of the keys and engaged the locks. We were locked out of the car until the tow truck arrived. FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2011 at 1:35pm / United States / Animals