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pinklightning23

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pinklightning23
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  • Number of visits : 40
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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pinklightning23's favorite FMLs

Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend, who's already made two threats against my life, informed me that she now has a concealed carry permit. FML

#20907451
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41495) - you deserved it (3027)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML

#20901686
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37063) - you deserved it (7826)

On 09/30/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, at my job as a fourth grade teacher, I realized that most of my students have far nicer and more expensive phones than I can afford. FML

#20892987
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42467) - you deserved it (2983)

On 09/23/2013 at 1:54pm - misc - by poor teacher - United States (Utah)

Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML

#20892563
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33557) - you deserved it (5265)

On 09/23/2013 at 1:48am - kids - by numbnuts (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I walked in on my daughter shaving the testicles of her boyfriend, who had apparently snuck in through her window. FML

#20888905
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50464) - you deserved it (5069)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by disappointed (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my doctor asked me to undo my bra so he could check my breathing without the straps restricting my lungs, I got home and told my friends how awkward it was. Not one of them has had this happen to them before. We all go to the same doctor. FML

#20883308
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50359) - you deserved it (4594)

On 09/16/2013 at 12:35am - health - by chestycough - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a public place before confessing that I've been seeing another woman, to avoid a dramatic scene. After being rushed to the hospital with a concussion and broken nose, I think it's safe to say my plan didn't go very well. FML

#20873101
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17612) - you deserved it (91953)

On 09/08/2013 at 3:31pm - love - by verbaltodomestic (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, when my husband asked me what the password to my new computer is, I told him it was the month and year of our marriage. He couldn't figure out the password. FML

#20872459
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41150) - you deserved it (6042)

On 09/08/2013 at 1:42am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I realized that I have a rack and butt most girls would be jealous of. That wouldn't be bad if I wasn't a dude. FML

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

#20864719
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43536) - you deserved it (18650)

On 09/02/2013 at 3:22pm - animals - by aherdofpigs - United States

Today, after I explained to my waitress that I have an allergy to butter, she nonetheless put some on my baked potato. When I had her get me another, without butter, she came back with one and then asked if I would like butter with it. FML

#20862628
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42122) - you deserved it (2909)

On 09/01/2013 at 12:40am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after I explained to my waitress that I have an allergy to butter, she nonetheless put some on my baked potato. When I had her get me another, without butter, she came back with one and then asked if I would like butter with it. FML

#20862628
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42122) - you deserved it (2909)

On 09/01/2013 at 12:40am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while I was teaching my chickens to eat out of my hand, one of the hens bit my finger and I dropped the entire handful of treats. Result: bonanza for the bird. The rest decided they could get more treats by biting me rather than by behaving. I now have a flock of fingerbiters. FML

Today, a woman screamed at me for five minutes, demanding to know how long I'd been having an affair with her husband. I explained for the second time that she'd dialed a wrong number. FML

#20861161
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36991) - you deserved it (2154)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:30am - misc - by Tag (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I addressed my district manager as "Dude." FML

#20859944
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16708) - you deserved it (34704)

On 08/30/2013 at 2:28am - work - by goodbyepromotion (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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