pimp_named_mitch

Search for a member

Offline (the 10/04/2014 at 5:59pm)

pimp_named_mitch

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 24 January 1999 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 945
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

pimp_named_mitch's page activity

Visits<b>Obediah14</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 11:16pm<b>kingcaper817</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 4:21pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 12:02pm<b>Starfoxx</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 2:08pm<b>SynysterNero</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 10:37pm<b>JokerJ312</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 10:39pm<b>ilovemychem</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 8:04pm<b>Justdoitdamn</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 10:32pm<b>Virohh</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 1:28pm<b>DJisHere11</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 1:01am<b>tacojauns</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 2:05am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 4:32am<b>brooklynrage</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 5:33pm<b>hruiz</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 3:49am<b>capnbzarr</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 5:30am<b>Lexi_Baby_Q_143</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 7:18am<b>P_B683</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 11:17am<b>Welshite</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 7:47am

pimp_named_mitch's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of pimp_named_mitch's badges

pimp_named_mitch's favorite FMLs

Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML

by see you next cunt / 03/18/2014 at 3:44pm / United States / Health

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last 2 miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML

by rolypoly / 03/05/2014 at 7:33am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML

by cockfist / 03/04/2014 at 5:41pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Intimacy

Today, I decided it was time to tell my daughter that she had been adopted. Not only had she known for 5 years, she found out from my drunk sister. FML

by adopted / 03/03/2014 at 10:55am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

by prochainefois / 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm / Intimacy

Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML

by lukas / 01/10/2014 at 7:24pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my 175-pound rottweiler I've raised since a puppy watched me get jumped and robbed of my phone and money in my yard. An hour later, he hopped the fence and chased the mail man down the street after he leaned on the fence for a second. FML

by Zach Got Robbed / 01/08/2014 at 6:02pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, I was admiring a beautiful painting I had hung in my bedroom. My brother kindly pointed out that when flipped upside down, it takes the shape of a lunatic girl with bleeding eyes. Now I can't unsee it. FML

by nightmarestonite / 12/16/2013 at 4:54pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2013 at 4:06pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

by OakStake / 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my sister introduced our parents to her new boyfriend. He's my boyfriend, and he told me he was going to be out of state for a few weeks on business. FML

by Alice99 / 11/12/2013 at 12:39pm / United States (Washington) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

by Something I said? / 11/05/2013 at 10:26am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, while driving in the car with my father, he handed me his iPhone and asked me to Google "Is ObamaCare good for our country?" As soon as I typed in "Is", the first result was "Is olive oil good for anal." FML

by justme / 11/02/2013 at 9:21am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I could think of more 'pros' than 'cons' for why I should start drinking again. FML