About philipino : a mixed bisexual
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philipino's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/01/2011 at 2:48am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
by f*ckingdisgusted / 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm / United States / Kids
Today, after 18 years of struggling to provide my daughter with the finest educational opportunities I could afford, I dropped her off to start school at the best public university in the U.S. So far the only thing she's learned is what weed smells like. FML
by BerzerkelyBongBabe / 08/23/2011 at 5:55pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML
Today, my tonsils swelled to roughly the size of golf balls. My mom refuses to take me to the hospital because she's convinced I got it from kissing someone, and until I "fess up", she's not budging. FML
by Eden / 07/14/2011 at 4:21pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health
by whyme102008 / 07/13/2011 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I laughed when I saw my ex-girlfriend in her overall uniform, thinking she'd got a job as a janitor. Turns out she's as professional marine welder. She's 22 years old and earns my monthly salary in three days. My current girlfriend who was there with me called me a loser in front of her. FML
by eatmywords / 07/05/2011 at 3:06am / Singapore / Love
by asianlover / 06/30/2011 at 3:24am / Finland (Western Finland) / Miscellaneous
by vaalcrawford / 05/11/2011 at 12:59am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, I got a call from a girl I was seeing. She said that she was falling for someone else, but she still liked me and couldn't decide what to do. Being the romantic (idiot) I am, I told her that she should do what would make her happiest, thinking that she would pick me. She didn't. FML
by HFCS / 04/18/2011 at 12:53am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, I was watching Animal Planet while babysitting my 4 year-old niece. A really cute baby bunny came on and I called her into the room, only for her to see it get killed by a Bald Eagle. Now she won't stop crying. FML
Today, I got a call from the police dept. My ex-boyfriend is applying for a job there, and they called me to ask if he was "a good candidate for a police officer." I had to start my day off by saying great, nice things about the guy who broke my heart and completely disrespected me. FML
by karmaplz / 02/23/2011 at 9:26am / United States (Connecticut) / Love
Today, my professor's son died in a car accident and class has been cancelled until further notice. All my friends were delighted and cheered about it in front of me. I was dating my professor's son. FML
by Anonymous / 02/10/2011 at 1:38pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone. The subject of abuse came up and I told her that if her father ever hurt her I would cut his dick off. The next thing I hear is, "Don't say shit you can't back up!" Her father had picked up the phone the moment I'd said it. FML
by Fucked / 01/24/2011 at 5:47pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy