nothinghere1234

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Offline (the 01/22/2014 at 10:48pm)

nothinghere1234

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1762
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About nothinghere1234 : These FMLs entertain me!

nothinghere1234's page activity

Visits<b>marinade18</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 11:01am<b>thatonepotguy</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 3:37pm<b>Arni792</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 5:41pm<b>NerdGirl321</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 6:13pm<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 1:14am<b>PsychoBillyGoat</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 3:56pm<b>nightfire2258</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 2:33am<b>andy594328</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 4:46pm<b>PumaPounce</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 1:59pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 2:48pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 2:57pm<b>seeoseek</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 6:42pm<b>mbusey</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 5:29am<b>flufee2</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 11:02pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 11:35pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 12:59am<b>Trollx</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 3:01pm<b>firefighterbee</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 12:09am

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nothinghere1234's favorite FMLs

Today, someone stole my laptop from my car. However, they were nice enough to relock the doors after they smashed in the window. FML

by stop thief / 06/26/2014 at 11:11am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

by furball / 06/15/2014 at 4:01pm / Animals

Today, less than a day after my cranky downstairs neighbor passed away, I woke up to banging sounds against his apartment ceiling, like the ones he used to make whenever I walked around during the night. I'm shitting myself in fear. FML

by mdsfkljsfsdrewr / 06/03/2014 at 3:01pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML

by half-dead in CA / 05/31/2014 at 12:39pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML

by needanotherbed / 05/28/2014 at 10:21am / United Kingdom (Suffolk) / Love

Today, I came down with diarrhea thanks to a particularly low-class restaurant. My dad has been making constant stupid puns like "pretty shitty state you're in" and "this day and age, you just don't expect this crap". I'm at the point where I want to gouge his eyes out with a goddamn spoon. FML

by fuckmuppet / 05/27/2014 at 1:04pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Health

Today, my parents were screaming so loud about who clogged the toilet that a neighbor called the police because they thought someone was in danger. FML

by dear god why / 05/26/2014 at 4:28pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that if I'm not home and my roommates have girls over, my room is the designated "fart room". FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2014 at 11:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

by Anonymous / 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my job at a fast-food restaurant, I once again got called into the men's bathroom to break up sex between two homeless people. FML

by thepixies842 / 05/19/2014 at 11:34am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, trying to be nice, I added this really shy kid from my English class on Facebook. Within minutes, he started going through all my pictures and tagging himself as my breasts. FML

by creepyyy / 05/17/2014 at 12:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife got all excited when she saw the elevator we were in had a feature to make it go sideways. I didn't have the heart to tell her they were the buttons to open and close the door. FML

by Jarool / 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, the tornado sirens went off so my family went to the basement and turned on the TV to the local news. The station goes to their sky cam as a trampoline flies by. Quite the sight. When the storm passed, I looked outside to see our trampoline was gone. It was the one flying by on TV. FML

by Gone With the Wind / 05/11/2014 at 11:29pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was teaching my 4 year old daughter how to use "stranger danger". Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML

by imnotastranger / 05/08/2014 at 11:01pm / Kids

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

by STOP / 05/08/2014 at 9:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love