About nkb94 : Sometimes I read FML stories aloud to my boyfriend....
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nkb94's favorite FMLs
by TheLoneSoul / 09/13/2015 at 10:22am / France / Love
by nah / 09/09/2015 at 3:55pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend's dad helped me put coolant in my car. When I said I wished I could do something in return, he told me to get an abortion so I wouldn't "ruin" his son's life. When I told my boyfriend, he didn't believe me. FML
by father-in-nope / 07/21/2015 at 11:17am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife was in seemingly never-ending labor. It got so bad, I overheard a nurse in the doorway mutter to a coworker that she hoped my baby would just die or something, so she could finally go take a smoke break. FML
by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 9:23pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/09/2015 at 10:38am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Kids
by hobbled / 06/17/2015 at 3:18pm / United States / Transportation
Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML
by Anonymous / 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids
by Anonymous / 06/07/2015 at 3:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by CassidyQueen / 06/05/2015 at 10:14pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/04/2015 at 3:06am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by DaoOfPow / 05/23/2015 at 3:51am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML
by nityasomaiya / 05/16/2015 at 1:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Junkiegamer / 04/27/2015 at 10:20am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I found out that, given the correct velocity, a used condom can actually fly through a tiny window and slap you on the leg. I also found out that when you go to the window to yell at the perpetrator, they might have more ammunition. FML
by Attacksloth / 04/23/2015 at 6:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML
by righthook / 04/08/2015 at 3:56pm / United States / Intimacy
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only…