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nightbirdblue

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nightbirdblue
  • Town/Country : Anvil, United States of America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2239
  • Number of comments : 267
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About nightbirdblue : D E S C R I P T I O N

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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nightbirdblue's favorite FMLs

Today, I went hiking with my family. A local had told us about the trail, saying the two mile walk would lead us to a seventy-foot waterfall. After seven miles of trekking in the sweltering sun with no food, we finally found the waterfall. It was barely ten feet tall. FML

#21117710
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14700) - you deserved it (2331)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:52am - misc - by why?? (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15630) - you deserved it (1489)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I work at a food joint as a chef, and a customer found a long strand of hair in her food. The manager blamed me, even though I'm bald. FML

#21117573
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17791) - you deserved it (1190)

On 04/19/2014 at 10:39pm - work - by notmine (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, I walked in on my brother shaving his nuts, all while giggling like a maniac and seemingly high out of his mind. FML

#21117346
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22717) - you deserved it (2462)

On 04/19/2014 at 5:26pm - misc - by burnmyeyes (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27097) - you deserved it (4847)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML

#21116600
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22356) - you deserved it (26448)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:56pm - misc - by say no to dick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML

#21116585
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27624) - you deserved it (2798)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad at a tennis game. I could tell he despised me from the start, but it only got worse when I played him. He smashed the ball at me and I went to hit it, but I missed and fell over, tearing my arm up on the gravel. He had a smirk on his face for the rest of the day. FML

#21116561
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26203) - you deserved it (2512)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:07pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

#21116530
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17950) - you deserved it (30820)

On 04/18/2014 at 5:31pm - kids - by cantprovenothing (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents made a game out of deliberately walking in when I'm trying to masturbate. They even turn on all the hot water taps when I'm trying to do it in the shower. FML

#21115891
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32282) - you deserved it (11399)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

#21115855
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35300) - you deserved it (4287)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by belljars (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had my teacher look over my essay before turning it in. He said it was extremely well-written, so I handed it in. When I got it back, the feedback he left said it was one of the worst essays he'd ever read. FML

#21115571
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38579) - you deserved it (3232)

On 04/17/2014 at 3:59pm - work - by badessaymyass (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories sake". FML

#21115090
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38637) - you deserved it (3031)

On 04/16/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by exasperated (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a restaurant for a friend's birthday. There were two very attractive waiters. They waited until I went to the toilet to sit down, talk to my friends and hit on them. They promptly left upon my return. Men avoid me. FML



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