About nightbirdblue : I had some great statement to say about FML earlier, but i forgot it.
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nightbirdblue's favorite FMLs
Today, I showed my daughter video footage from a security camera that showed her using her employee key to enter the store I own, disarming the alarm, and stealing several very valuable items. Her defense? That someone had "photoshopped" the video. We'll see how that goes down in court. FML
by Anonymous / 09/04/2015 at 1:01pm / United States (California) / Money
by Why / 09/03/2015 at 3:54pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/02/2015 at 9:29am / United Kingdom / Love
by really? / 09/01/2015 at 3:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, at soccer, I repeatedly asked my coach for water as I was feeling light headed. His response every time was, "5 more minutes". Eventually, I got so dehydrated that I passed out. The first thing my coach said when I woke up was, "Why didn't you get some water?" FML
by Dehydrated / 09/01/2015 at 7:07am / United States (North Carolina) / Health
by NoFunForMe / 08/31/2015 at 12:27pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Transportation
Today, my phone kept beeping, so I put it on silent and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I found the guy I went on a date with last night had sent dozens of messages. The first was "Good morning! :)" and the last was "Answer me u fuckin cunt!!!!" I think I'm staying single. FML
by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 3:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I had 3 teeth pulled. Due to the anaesthesia, my mom came along to drive me home. Halfway through my surgery, she decided to leave and go shopping with her friend. She even left a note with the receptionist, saying that I needed to take on my own adult responsibilities. FML
by gerbilmaster / 07/09/2015 at 5:12pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, my mother woke me up by loudly vacuuming the house. I had to work the next morning, so I asked her what she was thinking. She told me that if I was really tired and needed sleep, I wouldn't have woken up. It was 3 AM. FML
by No-Sleep Nellie / 07/07/2015 at 9:26am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to an important job interview, only to be told I'm not what such a "prestigious" company was looking for. This from a pimply-faced 20-something who took a personal call on speakerphone mid-interview, and actually said "lmao" out loud at his friend's joke. FML
by Wonderful_0 / 06/23/2015 at 1:58pm / United Kingdom (Luton) / Animals
Today, after parking in the handicapped spot of a lot with my placard, an older couple with their 7-year-old grandchild came up and yelled at me for being a lying asshole and taking the parking spot. When I showed them my prosthetic leg, the kid started crying and guess who got yelled at again. FML
by ICanExplain / 06/22/2015 at 4:46pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen so I went to work. On my walk to work a girl pulls up on my bike and says I need to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. Hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass as police surround me and accuse me of stealing my own bike. FML
by Anonymous / 06/21/2015 at 12:38am / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
Today, a customer called the Chinese restaurant where I work and complained about her takeout order not including donuts. After informing her that we don't have them, she started to curse at me while citing the website as proof. She thought wontons were synonymous with donuts. FML
by taylorbrown97 / 06/07/2015 at 3:05pm / United States (Illinois) / Work