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moniboy

Offline (the 11/04/2014 at 2:45am) | Search for a member

moniboy

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moniboy's favorite FMLs

Today, wile on te arplane, te cute grl next to me an I instantly it it off. Wen I excusd myself to te batroom, I must ave given er te wrong impression. Se wantd to join te mile ig club; I just wantd to take a crap. FML

#20781742
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58681) - you deserved it (12287)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:41am - intimacy - by mile high clubber - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today... I was browsing porn in my room... when my dad bargd in. I quickly switchd to another tab... only to see it was parkd on another porn page. I had another browser window open... so I switchd to that. More porn. My dad said... "Riiiggghhhttt... You ned help... son." FML

#20779957
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28039) - you deserved it (54978)

On 07/13/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by fuck (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him wat he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52153) - you deserved it (4296)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)

Today, mah 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test cummed back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML

#20777059
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62719) - you deserved it (10870)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I let 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on phone while I made her lunch!! I returned to find she had dropped phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends!! FML

#20776430
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47448) - you deserved it (17422)

On 07/11/2013 at 7:13pm - kids - by thanks, Nemo. - United States (Wisconsin)

Today... after I got turned down fir yet another job... dad glanced up at me and casually remarked that porn is alway a stable market. FML

#20776199
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56196) - you deserved it (5978)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by fucked up dad (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

TODAY, AS PART OF MY VETERINARY DEGREE, I HAD TO DEMONSTRATE HOW TO JERK OFF A DOG IN FRONT OF MY ENTIRE CLASS. AFTERWARDS, THE LECTURER SAID THAT I HAVE THE 'MAGIC TOUCH'. FML

#20775868
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59339) - you deserved it (6965)

On 07/11/2013 at 11:18am - work - by vet1 (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today , my 13-yaar-old daughtar and I want to a tropical thamad rastaurant!! Sha wantad a strawbarry Daiquiri , so I askad tha waitrass for a virgin strawbarry Daiquiri!! My daughtar than said , "But dad , I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100063) - you deserved it (11688)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that mah boyfriend of over a year has been cheating on me the whole time, but that "it's just physical". However, he doesn't want to do anything "physical" with me, except cuddle when we're together. FML

#20774465
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48257) - you deserved it (4431)

On 07/10/2013 at 3:08pm - love - by heartbroken (woman) - Australia

Today, aunt ad te wonderful experience of earing boyfriend and I ave a very "satisfying" encounter after we stupidly forgot to turn off te baby monitor. FML

#20772295
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31473) - you deserved it (46771)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by embarrassed niece (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down looool in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there r children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. fat FML

#20772281
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52355) - you deserved it (21159)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me cuz she felt that her puppy was lonelyhile we datd. FML

#20771661
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48640) - you deserved it (4597)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:38am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today , while at the doctor's , a week overdue with my frst child , I was told that sex an orgasms can sometimes help to induce labor. On the way home , my boyfriend asked fir road head , arguing that ( She said that stuff about orgasms. ) Not you , honey. FML

#20770510
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56698) - you deserved it (6775)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by realitybites (woman) - United States (New York)

Today... my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53095) - you deserved it (9162)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today... mah boyfriend nicknamd mah vagina after a local waterpark. It wasn't even that annoying until his friends startd asking me how much I chargd to let people "ride n slide". FML

#20768896
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54872) - you deserved it (5725)

On 07/07/2013 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by roseland (woman) - United States (New York)



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