miketopgunmike1

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Offline (the 04/17/2015 at 3:10pm)

miketopgunmike1

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 August 1987 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 795
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About miketopgunmike1 : howdy

miketopgunmike1's page activity

Visits<b>mercedesm</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 10:34pm<b>Ambrily</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 8:29am<b>melisssa87</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 11:16am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:11pm<b>potatopolice1025</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 5:33pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 6:32pm<b>princessEll</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 10:58am<b>justcause001</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 3:16am<b>zanoty</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 3:59pm<b>lec17</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 11:45pm<b>NerdGirl321</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 12:28am<b>Acacia21</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 6:10pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 4:33pm<b>Bruhsco</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 10:53pm<b>iop330</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 2:40pm<b>Jillian369</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 10:23am<b>Juicenub</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 4:18am<b>xBeats</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 3:26am

Fucked!<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 11:45am

miketopgunmike1's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of miketopgunmike1's badges

miketopgunmike1's favorite FMLs

Today, my maths class and I had to sit through a slideshow of photos of our teacher's cat. The cat's name is Mr Cat. FML

by Anonymous / 03/18/2015 at 5:44am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I collected a package from a handsome UPS guy. We exchanged smiles, and he even noticeably checked me out. I was feeling really confident for the first time in a while. Then I went inside and saw that I had two huge breastmilk spots on my chest. FML

by BBeffedmylife / 06/14/2014 at 10:18am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML

by pantyripper / 03/24/2014 at 8:39am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

by Catuser / 03/05/2014 at 10:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML

Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left a present right between my boobs. I had to stand at the altar for 30 minutes as bird poop melted in my cleavage. FML

by NewBride / 08/14/2013 at 1:39pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2013 at 8:46pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

by emasculated 10000% / 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working at a porn store, a group of six people tried to return used toys and penis pumps. Even though you can't return any items, it's still an unfortunately common occurrence. The semen in these particular toys, however, is not. All of them began shouting at me for not refunding them. FML

by ohgodwhyyoufreaks / 04/01/2013 at 7:57am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

by kindergarten teacher / 03/23/2013 at 9:25am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, at work, I walked in on a disoriented elderly woman eating nachos and cheese off the bathroom floor. She wasn't wearing any pants. FML

by Ihatemyjob / 03/17/2013 at 11:14pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I decided to watch a movie I hadn't seen before to bring my spirits up, as I've been feeling down lately. How did the movie end? Everybody died. FML

by Shouldaknown / 08/06/2010 at 1:12am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous