mclauren29

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mclauren29

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 May 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2680
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About mclauren29 : Hi, I'm Lauren.
I like my daily dosage of FML. Though I dig the comments more than anything else.
I like the regulars commenters and FMLs that aren't about cats.

mclauren29's page activity

Visits<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 9:42pm<b>Puddlepop</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 4:46am<b>PadfootLovesPie</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 1:07am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 7:50am<b>aidenmccarthy03</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 1:22am<b>Logan124</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 1:44pm<b>silmisstar</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 7:24pm<b>LilCheeno</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 4:40pm<b>scarman</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:03pm<b>mattb77</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 11:25am<b>enriquegonzolas</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 11:12am<b>emmmmmyyyyy</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 9:22am<b>shh_imbatmannnn</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 7:52am<b>rylaii</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 6:49am<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 11:31am<b>tuckit</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 8:06am<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 5:53pm<b>name_loading</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 10:52pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 8:56pm

mclauren29's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of mclauren29's badges

mclauren29's favorite FMLs

Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML

by htothecr / 05/03/2009 at 5:05pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML

by BARF / 04/27/2009 at 9:51am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I brought my dog to the vet for a routine surgery. The vets assured me that no dog had ever died during this procedure. Apparently my dog was the first. FML

by lylethomes15 / 04/21/2009 at 9:48am / United States (Maine) / Animals

Today, I was taking an exam and I knew I was unprepared, so I wrote some cheat notes on my ankle. As I cross my legs to look at my notes, I realize I wore tall boots to class. I can't even cheat properly. FML

by Joe / 04/16/2009 at 12:21pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

by blovesg / 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I was waitering at the restaurant that I work at when I collected a credit card bill that was worth $120 and a big zero on the tip line. Angered, I turned to a co-worker and said "I knew this asshole wasn't going to tip me." The guy was standing right behind me with $30 in his hand. FML

by brhorton02 / 04/06/2009 at 10:42am / United States (New Hampshire) / Money

Today, completely nude, I had to collect my clothes around the boy’s apartment I have been sleeping with for awhile. While his girlfriend watched to make sure I “got the fuck out.” FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on my iTunes. I've downloaded a lot of porn to my iTunes, and I wanted to watch some. My status changed to "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML

by ohshittttttt / 04/04/2009 at 12:15pm / United States (New York) / Geek

Today, my friend and I went to a really expensive restaurant. We got really bad service, so halfway through the meal we decided to dine-and-dash. Turns out I left my purse in the restaurant. With my I.D. and everything inside. FML

by ashleyevans / 04/04/2009 at 10:45am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I got up early to prank my family. I put a bucket of ice water on top of a door frame so whoever walked through would get an icy surprise. After I was done, I went back to bed. I woke up groggy and disoriented like always and walked right through the doorway I had rigged. FML

by blackvogue / 04/01/2009 at 6:42am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work the police were looking over video footage of an incident earlier in the day where a car had slammed hard into another one in the carpark. My manager came into the kitchen and asked if I wanted to come see it to for a laugh. The car that got hit was mine. FML

by Anonymous / 04/01/2009 at 6:07am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2009 at 1:04am / United States (California) / Animals