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Offline (the 04/30/2015 at 6:49pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1584
  • Number of comments : 132
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About mattjamt : I'm a greenskeeper for a rich-guy golf course, as well as a mechanic. I love lacrosse (Defense!) , and I'm studying Aerospace Engineering. I like to fish, hunt, and mountainbike. Hope that's a good enough description!

mattjamt's page activity

Visits<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 2:29pm<b>bray12345</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 8:34pm<b>TheMagicMrWaffle</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 3:50pm<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 9:32am<b>chaylea</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 10:56pm<b>beingaloneisfun</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 11:05pm<b>saraitkddh</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 8:51pm<b>wambastbeast</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 10:02pm<b>JonathanB</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 10:39am<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 9:42pm<b>NotAUser</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 11:49pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 2:01am<b>Hieroglyph</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 5:26am<b>Eternity49</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 12:36am<b>talimay</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 2:41am<b>sheenmachine</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 8:02pm<b>kyvmug</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 12:34am<b>ironik69</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 2:34am

Fucked!<b>TheMagicMrWaffle</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 9:50pm<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 3:32pm

mattjamt's FML badges

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mattjamt's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up and stumbled over to my window to soak up some morning sunshine. The sunshine was lovely; the sight of my elderly neighbour doing some kind of nude yoga in his backyard certainly was not. FML

by fucking hell my eyes burn / 05/23/2014 at 6:46pm / Germany / Intimacy

Today, some girl's mom gave me a load of abuse for endangering her daughter's health. How? By deleting my Facebook account, which caused her to have a serious panic attack. Apparently she thought we were best friends, and that I was ditching her. I'm confused too. FML

by nikaea / 05/23/2014 at 6:44pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was assigned to be the one to teach Grandpa how to use his new smartphone. An hour in, and we're still going over volume controls. FML

by phantomthelabrat / 03/31/2014 at 8:24am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with my girlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl, I reached over, grabbed my girlfriend's boobs and yelled, "Claimed!" She shot back, "Yeah, they are. But not by you." FML

by the other guy? / 03/29/2014 at 5:57pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, I went skiing with a girl I like. On the lift I asked her out. She said no. Halfway up the lift stopped. We were stuck up there for nearly an hour. FML

by snowbum69 / 12/15/2013 at 3:38am / United States (Idaho) / Love

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

by IronSkye / 08/29/2013 at 6:55am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing / 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML

by kvdfan / 08/27/2012 at 8:57am / United States / Love

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML

by thehumanshield / 08/05/2011 at 4:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I brought my girlfriend of four months home for dinner to meet my parents. The first thing my mom says to her? "Oh my God, you're real!" FML

by Charlie / 05/04/2011 at 11:30pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a band concert with 500 other people. The song they were performing stopped, and I loved it so much I stood up and clapped. Everyone stared, while I slowly realized the song wasn't over. FML

by RedFace / 04/05/2011 at 10:06am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to take our first shower together. When he came into the room, he had swimming trunks on. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2010 at 1:21am / Intimacy

Today, I tried to get my license. To get that, I needed to show proof of school enrollment. I graduated early, so they told me to get a copy of my diploma. I went to school, and they told me that I would need a valid driver's license to access my diploma. FML

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

by Username / 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm / Kids