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lizamaphone's favorite FMLs
by human torch / 03/18/2010 at 11:22am / United States / Health
Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to an excruciating pain coming from my genitalea. It turns out that I was having nightmares and I squeezed my balls because I was so terrified. I popped 3 blood vessels in my scrotum and now walk with a limp. FML
by Ballhugger / 12/06/2009 at 3:42pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/05/2009 at 9:20am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML
by amg85904 / 01/29/2009 at 7:13pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
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- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification…