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lizamaphone's favorite FMLs
by human torch / 03/18/2010 at 11:22am / United States / Health
Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to an excruciating pain coming from my genitalea. It turns out that I was having nightmares and I squeezed my balls because I was so terrified. I popped 3 blood vessels in my scrotum and now walk with a limp. FML
by Ballhugger / 12/06/2009 at 3:42pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/05/2009 at 9:20am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML
by amg85904 / 01/29/2009 at 7:13pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
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- Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex in a rarely used room at school. We got carried away and… Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and… Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on…