knoll4007

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knoll4007

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 971
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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knoll4007's page activity

Visits<b>Littlest_things</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 1:54pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 8:01pm<b>lifa</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 9:35am<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 3:38am<b>tpm45</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 4:56pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 11:10pm<b>xxsantaxx</b> - the 12/21/2012 at 1:55am<b>nswan</b> - the 05/16/2011 at 4:00pm<b>ilovejunkfood</b> - the 03/18/2011 at 7:29pm<b>blahHA13</b> - the 03/13/2011 at 11:58pm<b>olarvman</b> - the 01/22/2011 at 7:11pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 11:46am<b>White_Fury</b> - the 12/25/2010 at 10:18pm<b>Cheekylozza</b> - the 12/16/2010 at 10:15am<b>SophieH14</b> - the 12/15/2010 at 4:42am<b>M92</b> - the 12/14/2010 at 11:22am<b>leavitt15</b> - the 12/03/2010 at 10:26pm<b>chris_fml1</b> - the 12/01/2010 at 9:40am

knoll4007's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

knoll4007's favorite FMLs

Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML

by Mr. Sensitive Nips / 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. Within seconds of getting my drink, I spilled it all over the table and my scarf. When the waiter was helping clean up the spill, he knocked over my boyfriend's drink. All over my pants. FML

by Tori / 02/16/2011 at 2:40am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2011 at 12:15pm / Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen) / Intimacy

Today, I arranged to have some flowers delivered at work for Valentine's Day so that my colleagues will think someone likes me. FML

by alone / 02/14/2011 at 12:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I got a parking ticket in the mail. I don't have a car. FML

by Roxas / 02/14/2011 at 12:20am / United States (Virginia) / Transportation

Today, I found some nude vintage pictures in my house. I decided to beat my meat to them. Later I found out it was my grandma. FML

by Gabriel A / 01/14/2011 at 11:05pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, a month after my 21st birthday, I received my health exam results. I don't remember the night of the birthday because I was hammered. However, I called my friend and it's now clear that the stripper they paid to have her way with me, had Chlamydia. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2011 at 12:59pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I realized the birthmark I have on my chest isn't a birthmark at all; it's a third nipple. FML

by triplenipple / 01/10/2011 at 3:35pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Health

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

by nemo518 / 12/23/2010 at 1:36am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that if I try to resist a 70 pound bulldog that's humping my leg, I will end up with stitches. FML

by Anonymous / 12/22/2010 at 2:54am / United States / Health

Today, an attractive guy told me he wanted to get to know me and see me again. When I told my boyfriend, in hopes of stirring up some jealousy, he said "he'll regret it when he finds out what you're like in bed, trust me." FML

by fail / 12/21/2010 at 4:38am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, after an argument with a coworker, I sent him "Sorry about being such a jerk" in a reply to a mass email he had sent. I accidentally hit 'Reply All'. I now have 32 "It's okay" messages in my inbox. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2010 at 5:26pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, I found out my girlfriend of four years is legally married to a man in prison. He gets out next week. FML

by fouryearswasted / 12/19/2010 at 12:14am / United States / Love

Today, I saw Saw IV with my boyfriend. He held me close and said, "I'll protect you." A few seconds later, he jumped up so violently, he gave me a bloody nose, and ran screaming out of the room. FML

by asdfghjkl / 12/18/2010 at 2:14pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love