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karapfeifer

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karapfeifer
  • Town/Country : Pilot Butte, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 September 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 720
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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karapfeifer's favorite FMLs

Today, someone asked when my baby was due. I'm not pregnant, but I was so embarrassed to be mistaken for a pregnant lady that I rubbed my tummy and said "December." FML

#17324458
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31415) - you deserved it (13555)

On 07/31/2011 at 9:16pm - health - by preggo (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex, and it was my first time being on top. I got so into it that when I went to put my hands on the wall for support, the shelf above my bed snapped, with my favorite little cactus falling onto his face. FML

#17294808
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34205) - you deserved it (9134)

On 07/29/2011 at 3:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML

#17250401
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31332) - you deserved it (8033)

On 07/25/2011 at 3:21am - health - by jgdgjyfg - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she thought I was cheating on her. With my own sister. FML

#17153294
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42238) - you deserved it (3754)

On 07/17/2011 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by Cinnamon (man) - Jamaica (Saint Andrew)

Today, I couldn't shut a drawer in my kitchen, because an oven mitt was blocking it. An oven mitt filled with tin-foil wrapped electronics. My Mom believes Internet hackers can get into her digital camera and prepaid cell phone, and apparently tin-foil will prevent that. FML

#17102276
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19698) - you deserved it (1683)

On 07/14/2011 at 12:50am - misc - by BelleCharmante (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
502 comments

I agree, your life sucks (117075) - you deserved it (5933)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my dad thinks he's famous because he's been on 'Cops', twice. FML

#16814483
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36725) - you deserved it (520)

On 06/23/2011 at 10:19am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it would be okay to have sex behind a bush. FML

#16761961
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44344) - you deserved it (3683)

On 06/20/2011 at 11:57am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was sleeping I heard something bang on my door. I walked on my balcony only to find my boyfriend throwing rocks trying to wake me. He didn't see me and threw a rock right into my eye. FML

#16589180
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32780) - you deserved it (4518)

On 06/10/2011 at 12:59am - love - by ouchmyeye (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML

#16569461
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38859) - you deserved it (3602)

On 06/08/2011 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, we got a new dry-erase board, and I drew the Gotham City skyline complete with the Bat Signal. Later, I went downstairs, only to find my mom had written "BATMAN'S GAY" over the top of the picture. FML

#16235251
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25108) - you deserved it (9375)

On 05/18/2011 at 7:47am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a kid with severe Down's came into my workplace, as he does every day. He's has an obsession with me, sitting at a table, staring and taking photos of me all day. His parents have no problem with this, because they think it's a miracle that he can focus so much attention on me for so long. FML

#15935397
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29472) - you deserved it (4611)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:25pm - misc - by notimpressed (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML

#15903380
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31406) - you deserved it (9292)

On 04/24/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on my first official date I've been on since my divorce. Things were going great until he ordered his fourth 32oz beer; he got hammered and became a horny octopus. Oh, and he farted whiled trying to give me a goodnight kiss. FML

#15804497
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31691) - you deserved it (4015)

On 04/16/2011 at 4:39am - love - by Username - United States

Today, while making my son lunch, he pooped, took off his diaper, stepped in it, and then climbed to the gate to call for me. When I arrived, he had a big smile on his face and exclaimed, "Look!" Shit footprints were everywhere. FML



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