About jessherself13 : I'm studying to be a paramedic and eventually a firefighter. My favorite singer is Amanda Palmer and I like spicy foods.
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jessherself13's favorite FMLs
Today, my mom had my girlfriend and me over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML
by MrCanoe / 03/01/2009 at 4:58pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Love
by Grrrrr / 02/28/2009 at 7:50pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love
Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML
by Noname / 02/26/2009 at 10:30am / United States (Michigan) / Work
Today, I had the cops called on me because I accidentally texted "I'm going to kill you and use your head as hood ornament" to my ex-fiancé, instead of my best friend. I only texted that because he got a better grade on an exam than me. Now I have a court date. FML
by Joe / 02/25/2009 at 2:05pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
Today, I was stuck in what I thought was traffic on my way home from work. I started weaving in and out of traffic because it seemed to only be a few cars holding up the line. I get to the front of the line and I'd realized I just weaved through a funeral procession. FML
by Noname / 02/21/2009 at 2:34am / United States (Texas) / Transportation
by ADD / 02/11/2009 at 9:59am / Bulgaria (Grad Sofiya) / Work
Today, I was reading an article about girls who have low self-esteem and end up whoring around to feel better. When I finished, I realized it was actually written by my best friend. The girl in the article was me. FML
by Kath / 02/08/2009 at 8:55am / Poland (Gdansk) / Love
by The L word / 01/30/2009 at 10:28am / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, my boyfriend asked me to set up his new Mac and transfer all the pictures from his old notebook. Seems like he forgot that when he went on vacation 2 months ago he took pictures of him getting it on with another guy. We've been together for 3 years and just moved in together. FML
by theamericandream / 01/25/2009 at 8:07am / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML
by Poopy / 01/12/2009 at 11:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I have -$700 in my current account, $500 from overdraft fees because I spent money they told me I had. I don't get paid till the 15th and when I cash in my paycheck all of it will go to bringing me even. So the $9 I found in my wallet this morning will have to last me untill the 30th. FML
by Celina / 01/12/2009 at 4:55am / United States (California) / Money
Today, at the Eurostar customs, an officer asked me if I had packed my luggage myself. I teasingly answered "No, I was helped by a member of Al Qaeda." which earned me a body and luggage search and a missed train. FML
by Behemoth2 / 12/14/2008 at 12:15am / Transportation
- Today, I had sex with a guy I met at a party and passed out in his bed. When I woke up at 3 am, he… Today, my new boyfriend and I really wanted to have sex, but he went soft as soon as he entered me.… Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't…