Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jessherself13

Search for a member

jessherself13

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4116
  • Number of comments : 130
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About jessherself13 : I'm studying to be a paramedic and eventually a firefighter. My favorite singer is Amanda Palmer and I like spicy foods.

jessherself13's page activity

Visits<b>tfracchia</b> - yesterday at 1:06pm<b>velocityraptor</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 4:25pm<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 4:54pm<b>NeuroticToast</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 10:00pm<b>GunSlinger69</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 1:12am<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 5:32pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 2:55pm<b>Amy_Nguyen_12</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 5:30pm<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 10:43am<b>Rhett_15</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 4:35pm<b>BritSkits</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 11:38pm<b>homesuckfucker</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 9:16pm<b>Garagedwella</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 2:59am<b>anonymous100000</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 12:40am<b>Chaosti</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 3:56am<b>angelflores2012</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 8:21pm<b>WallyQ</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 10:01am<b>Roaryah</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 1:29pm

jessherself13's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of jessherself13's badges

jessherself13's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom had my girlfriend and I over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

#172507
487 comments

I agree, your life sucks (115489) - you deserved it (271029)

On 03/01/2009 at 4:58pm - love - by MrCanoe (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, after working for my company for 10 years, my co-workers threw me a farewell party. The boss gave quite an eloquent speech, ending in "we're really gonna miss you Mark." My name is Evan. FML

#163929
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63154) - you deserved it (2855)

On 02/28/2009 at 7:50pm - work - by Grrrrr (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1187794) - you deserved it (126530)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

#142104
977 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73854) - you deserved it (434689)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had the cops called on me because I accidentally texted "I'm going to kill you and use your head as hood ornament" to my ex-fiancé, instead of my best friend. I only texted that because he got a better grade on an exam than me. Now I have a court date. FML

#133313
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28046) - you deserved it (40203)

On 02/25/2009 at 2:05pm - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was stuck in what I thought was traffic on my way home from work. I started weaving in and out of traffic because it seemed to only be a few cars holding up the line. I get to the front of the line and I'd realized I just weaved through a funeral procession. FML

#94383
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9988) - you deserved it (52379)

On 02/21/2009 at 2:34am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He responded with "Who the hell are you?" FML

#24685
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37990) - you deserved it (4095)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:59am - misc - by ADD (man) - Bulgaria (Grad Sofiya)

Today, I was reading an article about girls who have low self-esteem and end up whoring around to feel better. When I finished, I realized it was actually written by my best friend. The girl in the article was me. FML

#14757
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32677) - you deserved it (14017)

On 02/08/2009 at 8:55am - misc - by Kath (woman) - Poland (Gdansk)

Today, I found out the girl I've been trying to date for six months is gay. FML

#3701
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24550) - you deserved it (5214)

On 01/30/2009 at 10:28am - love - by The L word - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to set up his new Mac and transfer all the pictures from his old notebook. Seems like he forgot that when he went on vacation 2 months ago he took pictures of him getting it on with another guy. We've been together for 3 years and just moved in together. FML

#2506
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34534) - you deserved it (2393)

On 01/25/2009 at 8:07am - love - by theamericandream - United States (Illinois)

Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML

#1001
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51695) - you deserved it (7204)

On 01/12/2009 at 11:19am - intimacy - by Poopy - United States (California)

Today, I have -$700 in my current account, $500 from overdraft fees because I spent money they told me I had. I don't get paid till the 15th and when I cash in my paycheck all of it will go to bringing me even. So the $9 I found in my wallet this morning will have to last me untill the 30th. FML

#984
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24292) - you deserved it (4670)

On 01/12/2009 at 4:55am - money - by Celina - United States (California)

Today, at the Eurostar customs, an officer asked me if I had packed my luggage myself. I teasingly answered "No, I was helped by a member of Al Qaeda." which earned me a body and luggage search and a missed train. FML

#510
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6497) - you deserved it (58164)

On 12/14/2008 at 12:15am - misc - by Behemoth2 - Sent from mobile version



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: