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jessgayle2

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jessgayle2

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  • Number of visits : 684
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jessgayle2's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of jessgayle2's badges

jessgayle2's favorite FMLs

Today, after swallowing my birth control pill, I threw up all over myself. I then had to search through my puke to find my birth control pill and attempt to re-take it. FML

Today, while working at Subway I joked with a customer asking him if he was going to order in Spanish. The women in front of him began yelling about how I was being racist and told my manager that I needed to be fired. The customer I was joking with was my Spanish teacher. FML

#21356827
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34929) - you deserved it (2283)

On 02/15/2015 at 5:39pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I discovered that my male coworker, who coincidentally shares my last name, has been telling everyone we're married. I'm 26; he's 58. FML

#21354774
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29899) - you deserved it (1947)

On 02/12/2015 at 3:14pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had my performance review at work. Under the "oral communication" category my boss wrote that I "act like an asshole." FML

#21354453
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25141) - you deserved it (5135)

On 02/11/2015 at 10:59pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I won a game of Monopoly against my girlfriend. She reacted by sweeping the board off the table, storming out the front door, and mowing down my mailbox driving away. FML

#21352803
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31197) - you deserved it (3738)

On 02/09/2015 at 3:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her: "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home with no shopping. FML

#21352119
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43105) - you deserved it (2977)

On 02/08/2015 at 2:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML

#21351571
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42853) - you deserved it (2732)

On 02/07/2015 at 4:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML

#21349904
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36409) - you deserved it (4280)

On 02/04/2015 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by MIB thingy please... (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boss informed me I couldn't go on my "vacation" because he's leaving for one of his employees' weddings. That just so happens to be my wedding, for which I'm taking the vacation. FML

Today, I got back from a two-day trip for which I'd left my husband and kids at home. There's fresh vomit inside of my oven, and my 4 year old son has a mullet. FML

#21347579
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32100) - you deserved it (3679)

On 02/01/2015 at 12:50am - misc - by neverleavingagain (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got married. My grandpa took me aside afterwards and said that the moment the ceremony was over, he heard my wife's vagina slam shut. "Welcome to marriage, sucker," he chuckled, "It's just you and Rosy Palm now!" FML

#21347104
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26929) - you deserved it (2593)

On 01/31/2015 at 12:38am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML

#21346789
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29228) - you deserved it (3322)

On 01/30/2015 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I got attacked by a monkey. My country isn't even supposed to have monkeys in it. FML

#21346049
94 comments

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. Turns out his dad is the asshole customer that I complain about all the time. He recognized me too and spent the entire dinner making passive-aggressive remarks about how bad of an employee I am. FML

#21345967
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29622) - you deserved it (2614)

On 01/29/2015 at 12:39am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was talking to a girl. It was going pretty well until she said, "LOL." What's so bad about that? We weren't texting. FML

#21345280
106 comments


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