jessgayle2

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Offline (the 05/27/2016 at 9:01am)

jessgayle2

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 787
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jessgayle2's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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jessgayle2's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into the kitchen to see my dad peeing into a cup. We made eye contact and he quickly threw the cup into the sink. Not one word has been spoken about what happened, and I saw my mom use the same cup later on that day. FML

by yamuda / 05/11/2016 at 7:24pm / Ireland (Carlow) / Miscellaneous

Today, a customer got angry with me, because store policy says we can't accept returns of unsealed video games unless there's actual damage to the disc. The guy got enraged and started yelling about how I'm a "useless fuckwhistle". I almost got written up for laughing so hard at the insult. FML

by Anonymous / 04/01/2016 at 4:21pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, I discovered that my Dad's family very much supports Donald Trump. They tried to convince me to support his campaign by donating money. We're not even American. FML

by MakeDonaldDrumpfAgain / 03/30/2016 at 1:24am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my ex-boyfriend announced he was engaged. We broke up last night. FML

by whereismyring / 03/27/2016 at 8:47pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I woke up to 15 texts from my mom, 6 missed calls, and with no bra or shirt on in a random guy's bed. Welcome to spring break, ladies and gentleman. FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2016 at 10:53pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, my fiance said his cat is going to be my maid of honor at our wedding. FML

by Desiree_lianne / 03/26/2016 at 5:02pm / United States / Love

Today, the guy I buy weed from invited me to have Easter dinner with his family, since I've nowhere else to go. FML

by mel / 03/25/2016 at 9:20am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog hates my neighbor so much, she forms a shit barrier in their yard to keep them away from my house. FML

by gabimk23 / 03/23/2016 at 9:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while vacationing, a small boy asked to see the baby I was holding, wrapped in a blanket. I showed him, and his face reflexively scrunched up. The boy's mother came and apologized to me. Her face scrunched up too. FML

by NotAnUglyBaby / 03/22/2016 at 6:40pm / Mexico (Veracruz-Llave) / Holidays

Today, my son's teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He put down "unemployed". FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2016 at 5:17pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I received a letter from an eBay seller for whom I recently left an honest, negative review. I don't know what I was expecting, but I certainly wasn't ready for what spilled out coating my jeans, shoes, and brand new carpet: Glitter. FML

by okaydisarray / 03/22/2016 at 4:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the supermarket, I picked up a pack of toilet rolls, at which point my 5-year-old daughter turned to me and screamed, "A CLEAN BUTTHOLE IS A HAPPY BUTTHOLE!" in front of a dozen other people. I have no idea where she heard that. FML

by humiliated / 03/20/2016 at 7:54am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, my mother straight up admitted that she would murder me if God told her to. FML

by Anonymous / 03/20/2016 at 2:24am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend's attention by taking my bra off and tossing it at him. He only put it on as a hat and kept playing his video games. FML

by Anonymous / 03/18/2016 at 4:56pm / United States / Love

Today, I came home to find that my dog had figured out how to open the fridge again. He'd helped himself to raw eggs and crab. FML

by 2k16 / 03/16/2016 at 10:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals