jedidesauden

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jedidesauden

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 November 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1103
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jedidesauden's page activity

Visits<b>oreodog</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 4:38pm<b>150493x</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 4:34am<b>annac221</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 9:56pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 2:35pm<b>br1015</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 3:28am<b>cutycat136</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 12:18pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 1:37pm<b>JillianBall</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 8:10pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 11:41pm<b>Testing1234</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 1:24pm<b>Miss_Klutzie</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 1:13am<b>marykaitlyn</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 7:49pm<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 12:20am<b>SkyBlueCloud</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 11:07pm<b>samcro3</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 8:21pm<b>thehuntress309</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 12:27pm<b>chamay</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 8:01pm<b>theGOAT16</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 7:56pm

jedidesauden's FML badges

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jedidesauden's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to church for the first time in my life. They had a Jesus statue at the altar, and I noticed he was surprisingly muscular. Ten minutes later, I had to excuse myself, after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus. FML

by Weirdo / 12/30/2012 at 1:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I reached that point in our relationship where just a simple phone conversation was too boring. His idea to spice things up? Playing Minecraft together. FML

by Minecraftwhyyy / 08/22/2012 at 11:13am / United States / Love

Today, we got a call that my brother stuck a rock up his nose and couldn't get it out. My mom had to pick him up and take him to the hospital. My brother is 20. FML

by littlebigbrother / 05/23/2012 at 2:13am / Japan / Miscellaneous

Today, in a training class, I got to see a picture of what can happen when a man does not wear a safety harness correctly. For those of you who are unaware, male body parts are easily severed by loose straps. I cannot un-see that picture. It wasn't even a harness safety class. FML

by recmonty / 05/16/2012 at 11:53pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband told me to stop faking being sick, because, "morning sickness doesn't happen after noon." FML

by prego / 04/13/2012 at 10:15am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I dressed up for a date. After waiting for hours, sending countless texts and voice mails to my date, and thinking I'd been stood up, I remembered my date is actually scheduled for tomorrow. FML

by Sash / 04/06/2012 at 5:04pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, while talking to my girlfriend, the subject of Darth Vader came up. That's when she asked me, "Aren't Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker the same person?" I don't know what's worse, the fact that she asked me that, or the fact that I got upset over her lack of Star Wars knowledge. FML

by Nadaz / 04/05/2012 at 7:29am / United States (North Carolina) / Geek

Today, a lady told me her husband had sinus surgery. I replied, "Oh, I know someone who just had that done." I then realized I meant Alexis on The Real Housewives of the OC. FML

by gaagaa / 04/03/2012 at 11:53pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I repeatedly screamed so loudly and with such emotion at a video game, that my neighbours thought I was in trouble and called the police. FML

by thatscreamerguy / 04/03/2012 at 7:11am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML

by Wannabees / 04/03/2012 at 1:13am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd never made a girl orgasm. I didn't think much of it until he decided to go down on me. Every time he got me close to orgasm, he'd stop and ask, "Are you about to come?" or "Does that feel good?" Now I can see why he's never made a girl orgasm. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2012 at 10:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, in the midst of sleep, my boyfriend hurled my cellphone across the room and into the wall because he couldn't be bothered to pick up or hang up an incoming call. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2012 at 3:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that sex in the woods is amazing. I also found that the roar of a nearby bear will end the amazement. Not only was I cock blocked by a bear, I almost shit myself. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2012 at 11:21pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I saw an article about how some people think internet access is more important than sex. I asked my boyfriend which he thought was more important. He chose internet access. FML

by justwow / 03/21/2012 at 7:58pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I watched as my step-dad put locks on my window, because he's convinced that I've been sneaking out at night. All my mom did was casually remark that I'm fucked if there's ever a fire. FML

by Rapunzel / 03/18/2012 at 4:02pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous