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jedidesauden

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jedidesauden
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 November 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 392
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jedidesauden's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to church for the first time in my life. They had a Jesus statue at the altar, and I noticed he was surprisingly muscular. Ten minutes later, I had to excuse myself, after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus. FML

#20432015
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9145) - you deserved it (31879)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by Weirdo (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I reached that point in our relationship where just a simple phone conversation was too boring. His idea to spice things up? Playing Minecraft together. FML

#20035502
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16107) - you deserved it (5543)

On 08/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by Minecraftwhyyy (woman) - United States

Today, we got a call that my brother stuck a rock up his nose and couldn't get it out. My mom had to pick him up and take him to the hospital. My brother is 20. FML

#19666346
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20811) - you deserved it (1643)

On 05/23/2012 at 2:13am - misc - by littlebigbrother - Japan

Today, in a training class, I got to see a picture of what can happen when a man does not wear a safety harness correctly. For those of you who are unaware, male body parts are easily severed by loose straps. I cannot un-see that picture. It wasn't even a harness safety class. FML

#19635115
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15652) - you deserved it (1539)

On 05/16/2012 at 11:53pm - misc - by recmonty - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my husband told me to stop faking being sick, because, "morning sickness doesn't happen after noon." FML

#19460705
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26434) - you deserved it (2637)

On 04/13/2012 at 10:15am - love - by prego - United States (Michigan)

Today, I dressed up for a date. After waiting for hours, sending countless texts and voice mails to my date, and thinking I'd been stood up, I remembered my date is actually scheduled for tomorrow. FML

#19418813
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8003) - you deserved it (30865)

On 04/06/2012 at 5:04pm - love - by Sash (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while talking to my girlfriend, the subject of Darth Vader came up. That's when she asked me, "Aren't Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker the same person?" I don't know what's worse, the fact that she asked me that, or the fact that I got upset over her lack of Star Wars knowledge. FML

#19411033
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18445) - you deserved it (10954)

On 04/05/2012 at 7:29am - misc - by Nadaz (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a lady told me her husband had sinus surgery. I replied, "Oh, I know someone who just had that done." I then realized I meant Alexis on The Real Housewives of the OC. FML

#19404446
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4850) - you deserved it (16609)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:53pm - misc - by gaagaa - United States

Today, I repeatedly screamed so loudly and with such emotion at a video game, that my neighbours thought I was in trouble and called the police. FML

#19399944
187 comments

Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML

#19399139
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5084) - you deserved it (30140)

On 04/03/2012 at 1:13am - misc - by Wannabees (woman) - Canada

Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd never made a girl orgasm. I didn't think much of it until he decided to go down on me. Every time he got me close to orgasm, he'd stop and ask, "Are you about to come?" or "Does that feel good?" Now I can see why he's never made a girl orgasm. FML

#19397932
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27965) - you deserved it (3067)

On 04/02/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, in the midst of sleep, my boyfriend hurled my cellphone across the room and into the wall because he couldn't be bothered to pick up or hang up an incoming call. FML

#19395712
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13773) - you deserved it (2092)

On 04/02/2012 at 3:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that sex in the woods is amazing. I also found that the roar of a nearby bear will end the amazement. Not only was I cock blocked by a bear, I almost shit myself. FML

#19323804
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23360) - you deserved it (5777)

On 03/21/2012 at 11:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I saw an article about how some people think internet access is more important than sex. I asked my boyfriend which he thought was more important. He chose internet access. FML

#19322341
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18189) - you deserved it (6114)

On 03/21/2012 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by justwow (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I watched as my step-dad put locks on my window, because he's convinced that I've been sneaking out at night. All my mom did was casually remark that I'm fucked if there's ever a fire. FML

#19301577
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25956) - you deserved it (2473)

On 03/18/2012 at 4:02pm - misc - by Rapunzel (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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