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jedidesauden's FML badges
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jedidesauden's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to church for the first time in my life. They had a Jesus statue at the altar, and I noticed he was surprisingly muscular. Ten minutes later, I had to excuse myself, after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus. FML
by Weirdo / 12/30/2012 at 1:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Minecraftwhyyy / 08/22/2012 at 11:13am / United States / Love
by littlebigbrother / 05/23/2012 at 2:13am / Japan / Miscellaneous
Today, in a training class, I got to see a picture of what can happen when a man does not wear a safety harness correctly. For those of you who are unaware, male body parts are easily severed by loose straps. I cannot un-see that picture. It wasn't even a harness safety class. FML
by recmonty / 05/16/2012 at 11:53pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous
by prego / 04/13/2012 at 10:15am / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I dressed up for a date. After waiting for hours, sending countless texts and voice mails to my date, and thinking I'd been stood up, I remembered my date is actually scheduled for tomorrow. FML
by Sash / 04/06/2012 at 5:04pm / United Kingdom / Love
Today, while talking to my girlfriend, the subject of Darth Vader came up. That's when she asked me, "Aren't Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker the same person?" I don't know what's worse, the fact that she asked me that, or the fact that I got upset over her lack of Star Wars knowledge. FML
by Nadaz / 04/05/2012 at 7:29am / United States (North Carolina) / Geek
by gaagaa / 04/03/2012 at 11:53pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by thatscreamerguy / 04/03/2012 at 7:11am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Geek
Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML
by Wannabees / 04/03/2012 at 1:13am / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd never made a girl orgasm. I didn't think much of it until he decided to go down on me. Every time he got me close to orgasm, he'd stop and ask, "Are you about to come?" or "Does that feel good?" Now I can see why he's never made a girl orgasm. FML
by Anonymous / 04/02/2012 at 10:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/02/2012 at 3:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/21/2012 at 11:21pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
by justwow / 03/21/2012 at 7:58pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
by Rapunzel / 03/18/2012 at 4:02pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my friend who I've been helping search for jobs finally got offered one. She turned it down… Today, my driving instructor was over 30 minutes late and when I texted him to ask where he was he… Today, I decided to sink low enough to sign up for one of those 'get paid for taking a survey site'…