take a dump on your abs

You weren't taking a dump, you were making your daily offering to the porcelain throne.

OP the bathroom isn't the place to try and go super sayian.

I pulled amuscle while bending to get a tissue

Or more fiber in their diet. Salads are tasty, you know? Stool softener and laxatives can help as well :|

Not only painful, it can cause little wounds and bleed. You should really be careful with that.

I think op's just dehydrated.

Op has to becareful...you can rupture something pushing to hard. Op needs to relax and let it flow.

I'm pretty sure it doesn't flow without force.

What super saiyan number did op go to?

Straining too much while taking a bowel movement has been known, in rare cases, to cause heart attacks. Go see your doctor. In the meantime, take some stool softeners, laxatives or eat more fiber.

are you impersonating a 56k modem?

It's OP taking a shit

That sounds like a shi- (gets bitchslapped)

Last time, I screamed so much while taking a dump that I almost went super sayain.

Wonder if OP's abs have come in yet

"The poop that took a pee" By Butters Stotch

*feel :D

such an improvement from last time when you posted three times and used poor grammar in each. just for that I give you one upthumb

Wouldn't it be a thumbs up not an up thumb?

perhaps but I'm on Reddit a lot and I almost typed upvote

^ I think you should stop trying to be a Grammar Nazi.

^ Why not? Many pros, few cons to that advice. Whether or not it'll help OP out in This particular circumstance is anyone's guess though.... ;)

It should. Exercise helps peristaltic motion so stuff moves through you better... Exercise, fiber and more water would all be beneficial to op

The Porcelain Throne was not impressed

Make room for the brown brick!

Good thing McDonald's introduced their oatmeal. That way we can "release their demons" with ease.

Wtf... not even funny