japtch

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japtch

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 10 August 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1760
  • Number of comments : 176
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About japtch : Hey, I'm Simon. I guess I've been on FML for awhile now, so it's about time I do an "About Me."

I'm going to college to build computers. Technology is my life. Gaming, social networking, youtubing, and a little hacking are a few things I enjoy.

ALSO, I hate it when you can't spell. So..
your*
you're*
their*
there*
they're*
definitely*

If you wanna know something else, message me? I don't get on the website that often, but when I do, I'll reply.

Kbye.

japtch's page activity

Visits<b>DrowningLessons</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 3:59pm<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 7:22am<b>itchmcrotch</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 2:58pm<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 2:02am<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 7:14pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 7:25pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 7:53am<b>manlove38</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 3:16pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 4:00pm<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:34am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 6:42pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 11:07pm<b>Jujuboo_3</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 7:46am<b>jayeterror775</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 12:36am<b>Ohotsk</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 4:08pm<b>shorty6823</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 2:04am<b>Monster27</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 5:28pm<b>TuChiLE_MeXiCaNO</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 12:27am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 4:41am<b>manlove38</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 4:02pm

japtch's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of japtch's badges

japtch's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad approached two girls at a store and told them I'd crashed into their car. They didn't find it funny either. FML

by annonymous / 06/17/2012 at 9:57pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that my expensive new shampoo smells exactly like my ex-girlfriend. So now, whenever I shower, I'm showered with depression. FML

by anon / 06/10/2012 at 5:14pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Love

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend walked in on me as I was browsing a baby name website. I explained to him that I was naming characters for a novel I was planning to write, but he is completely convinced that I'm pregnant, and has even told his parents. FML

by inapickle / 05/16/2012 at 4:20am / United States (Maine) / Kids

Today, I was babysitting, playing hide and go seek. I tried to jump behind the armchair, but it tipped, and I hit my head into the wind chimes, ripped the curtain rod from the wall, and smashed my knee into the wall. I lay on the ground in agonizing pain as the little girl shouted, "I know where you are!" FML

by jessye1182 / 05/11/2012 at 7:16pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML

by rongo12 / 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that the stream of water that periodically falls onto the ground outside my apartment window isn't actually water. The guy above me regularly pees out of his window onto his balcony. FML

by deadgrass / 03/28/2012 at 8:44pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to my 15-year-old son why it wouldn't be a good idea to include a picture of the red Power Ranger in his "Weapons throughout history" project. FML

by laststand11 / 03/28/2012 at 6:49pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids

Today, I still can't find a job to support myself. The only experience I have is a month in retail and a summer spent in a kitchen de-pooping shrimp. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2012 at 5:46pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, I thought I was going to my doctor for a yearly check-up. My father had actually tricked me into therapy. FML

by nazooer / 03/21/2012 at 9:50pm / United States / Health

Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave. The first jackass to waste my time was a guy with leg lacerations. This, he claimed, was because he tried to break a samurai sword over his leg as part of a bet. It's day one and already I want to kill myself. FML

by Simms / 03/13/2012 at 10:32pm / United States / Work

Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML

by Username / 02/27/2012 at 7:37pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML

by Carpet cleaner / 02/20/2012 at 9:15pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend poked me on Facebook. I got excited because this is as close as he's come to touching me in weeks. FML

by Skullie / 02/19/2012 at 12:40am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I was showing off my sexy new lingerie set to my boyfriend. While we were getting frisky, he got really into things and ripped it completely off my body, destroying it. It cost me $110. FML

by Lilah / 02/18/2012 at 7:29pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy