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hllnz0469

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hllnz0469
  • Town/Country : Boulder, CO
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 October 1998 (15 years)
  • Number of visits : 615
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About hllnz0469 : Man, how did you end up here? Well, since you're already here and you have nothing better to do, learn some stuff about me :)
1. My name is Karly and sometimes it pisses me off because I can never find my name on those key chain thingies at gift shops.
2. I LOVE football, but only pro, no college. I'm from Baltimore, so the Ravens are a given :) Jacoby Jones is DA FREAKING BOMB.
2. I'm a huge grammar nazi. Mistakes in that regard make me want to stab my screen.
3. I read FMLs on the app to make me feel better about my life ;)
4. I live in Colorado and I am slightly socially awkward, but I do actually have friends.
5. I have 2 younger brothers, 2 big dogs, 3 horses, and 5 chickens.
6. I realize that you are bored reading about me and you really don't care at all, so this is the last fact.
Message me if you want to talk, I won't bite :) No, I do not have Kik and will never have one, I'm more of an iFunny kinda person.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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hllnz0469's favorite FMLs

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

#21015899
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40194) - you deserved it (7594) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Elisa_LmR (woman) - France

Today, my dad is going through a midlife crisis. He now wants to be less like a dad and more like a "best friend" to me. This mainly involves him constantly texting me, sending me stuff on Snapchat, and saying stuff like "wicked cool", "bazinga", and "swag" every chance he gets. FML

#21014175
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42038) - you deserved it (4162)

On 01/02/2014 at 12:07pm - misc - by fuck off, dad (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mum and I were referred to as "ladies". I'm happy for her, since she always complains about looking masculine. However, I would still like to be called a gentleman, seeing as how I am one. FML

#21000124
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38176) - you deserved it (2789)

On 12/21/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by FML (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML

#20997471
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36663) - you deserved it (2488)

On 12/18/2013 at 9:59pm - misc - by bf - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom showed my girlfriend a picture of me crying when I pooped in the bathtub. FML

#20955466
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37045) - you deserved it (4262)

On 11/12/2013 at 6:57pm - love - by icyrebel25 - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a text message consisting solely of emoticons. FML

#20950012
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42212) - you deserved it (3917)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:30am - love - by probablydodgedabullet - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a customer screamed at me, because her iced coffee tasted exactly like coffee, and she hates coffee. Sadly, this isn't even the most insane person I've had to deal with at this job. FML

#20820474
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42873) - you deserved it (2283)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:09pm - work - by Neanderthals walk among us (woman) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I was walking home from the store when I saw my uncle. I went over and gave him a surprise hug. He grabbed my ass. He wasn't really my uncle. FML

#20809869
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39915) - you deserved it (18601)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend hasn't really been "researching" for work on the Internet; she's actually been tweeting the same pathetic plea to a guy from One Direction asking him to "follow" her. She's 29. FML

#20808571
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37351) - you deserved it (3974)

On 07/28/2013 at 8:18pm - misc - by LeaveTheGuyAlone (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was mistaken for my twin brother twice. This probably wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a girl. FML

#20807504
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42805) - you deserved it (3988)

On 07/28/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Mia (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML

#20807336
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42373) - you deserved it (3241)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:28am - animals - by mishyb (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53532) - you deserved it (8899)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, I had to help my constipated dog by squeezing crap out of her butt. This is a daily occurrence. FML

Today, I went to the Giants game. During the seventh inning stretch they showed me on the jumbo-tron. It was just in time for the entire stadium to see me pull a tampon out of my purse. FML

#20799228
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58059) - you deserved it (7551)

On 07/23/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by GiantsFan13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I won an award for Employee of the Month. Shocked, I asked my boss if he'd gotten my name mixed up or something. He had. FML

#20797671
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41206) - you deserved it (9306)

On 07/22/2013 at 2:29pm - work - by FUCK (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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