hllnz0469

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hllnz0469

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 October 1998 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3090
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About hllnz0469 : Man, how did you end up here? Well, since you're already here and you have nothing better to do, learn some stuff about me :)
1. My name is Karly and sometimes it pisses me off because I can never find my name on those key chain thingies at gift shops.
2. I LOVE football, but only pro, no college. I'm from Baltimore, so the Ravens are a given :) Jacoby Jones is DA FREAKING BOMB.
2. I'm a huge grammar nazi. Mistakes in that regard make me want to stab my screen.
3. I read FMLs on the app to make me feel better about my life ;)
4. I live in Colorado and I am slightly socially awkward, but I do actually have friends.
5. I have 2 younger brothers, 2 big dogs, 3 horses, and 5 chickens.
6. I realize that you are bored reading about me and you really don't care at all, so this is the last fact.
Message me if you want to talk, I won't bite :) No, I do not have Kik and will never have one, I'm more of an iFunny kinda person.

hllnz0469's page activity

Visits<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 3:40am<b>Aksta</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 11:11am<b>haylburg</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 12:07pm<b>chargers2588</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 11:25am<b>jessicawashere</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 9:48pm<b>xxGheTToGumbYxx</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 2:30pm<b>Crash7777</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 7:18pm<b>Domo17</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 10:42pm<b>daisysmily</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 9:14pm<b>Roxanna1029</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 12:49am<b>BigMatt803</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 1:18pm<b>maxymum7</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 8:22pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 5:07pm<b>xSlim</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 3:10pm<b>kievking</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 10:29am<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 9:36pm<b>Mr_Quinten</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 4:58am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 10:13pm

hllnz0469's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of hllnz0469's badges

hllnz0469's favorite FMLs

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

by Elisa_LmR / 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad is going through a midlife crisis. He now wants to be less like a dad and more like a "best friend" to me. This mainly involves him constantly texting me, sending me stuff on Snapchat, and saying stuff like "wicked cool", "bazinga", and "swag" every chance he gets. FML

by fuck off, dad / 01/02/2014 at 12:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mum and I were referred to as "ladies". I'm happy for her, since she always complains about looking masculine. However, I would still like to be called a gentleman, seeing as how I am one. FML

by FML / 12/21/2013 at 11:58am / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML

by bf / 12/18/2013 at 9:59pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom showed my girlfriend a picture of me crying when I pooped in the bathtub. FML

by icyrebel25 / 11/12/2013 at 6:57pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a text message consisting solely of emoticons. FML

by probablydodgedabullet / 11/08/2013 at 6:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, a customer screamed at me, because her iced coffee tasted exactly like coffee, and she hates coffee. Sadly, this isn't even the most insane person I've had to deal with at this job. FML

by Neanderthals walk among us / 08/04/2013 at 3:09pm / Hungary (Budapest) / Work

Today, I was walking home from the store when I saw my uncle. I went over and gave him a surprise hug. He grabbed my ass. He wasn't really my uncle. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 3:07pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my girlfriend hasn't really been "researching" for work on the Internet; she's actually been tweeting the same pathetic plea to a guy from One Direction asking him to "follow" her. She's 29. FML

by LeaveTheGuyAlone / 07/28/2013 at 8:18pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was mistaken for my twin brother twice. This probably wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a girl. FML

by Mia / 07/28/2013 at 2:18am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML

by mishyb / 07/28/2013 at 12:28am / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

by turning red / 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to help my constipated dog by squeezing crap out of her butt. This is a daily occurrence. FML

Today, I went to the Giants game. During the seventh inning stretch they showed me on the jumbo-tron. It was just in time for the entire stadium to see me pull a tampon out of my purse. FML

by GiantsFan13 / 07/23/2013 at 10:49am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I won an award for Employee of the Month. Shocked, I asked my boss if he'd gotten my name mixed up or something. He had. FML

by FUCK / 07/22/2013 at 2:29pm / United States (Illinois) / Work