harrypotter955

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Offline (the 11/04/2015 at 5:02am)

harrypotter955

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 October 1999 (16 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8737
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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harrypotter955's page activity

Visits<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 6:47pm<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 6:55am<b>2simz</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 4:05am<b>saucybugger101</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 6:01pm<b>ExtremeEncounter</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 12:11am<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 6:55pm<b>jdscott28</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 2:26am<b>IAm123</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 8:37pm<b>Raekwon</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 4:10pm<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 7:10pm<b>AC98</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 5:46pm<b>Koizumiii</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 7:59pm<b>MuslimShady</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 6:29am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 9:58pm<b>33kameron33</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 5:11pm<b>cwenboo</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 8:45am<b>OptimusSlime</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 9:47pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 9:31pm

Fucked!<b>perfect_heart13</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 4:22am<b>kaiboi702</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 11:17am<b>thederpylemon</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 4:44am<b>g_willikers24</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 2:46am<b>Just_A_Fantasy</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 3:12pm<b>SierraaaNicoleee</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 6:37am

harrypotter955's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of harrypotter955's badges

harrypotter955's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom accused me of stealing money from her purse. Being totally innocent, I reminded her that the only other person with access to it is her boyfriend. She said she trusts him because she loves him. They've been dating for 2 months. I've been her daughter for 25 years. FML

by :/ / 02/03/2013 at 7:26pm / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Money

Today, I desperately needed to pee, so I decided to confront my anxiety issues and use a public toilet. I opened the lid, only to see several huge, rancid floaters staring back at me. I had an attack, started sobbing, and pissed myself on the way home. Never again. FML

by VMV / 02/01/2013 at 6:53pm / Spain (Catalonia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML

by jay ze punk / 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

by Kitten_Love / 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm / Animals

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 6:10am / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

by pdub523 / 01/27/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML

by protoplasm stole my seat / 01/25/2013 at 8:24pm / New Zealand (Waikato) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that my downstairs neighbor is running a business out of her apartment. Or I should say, her pimp is. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2013 at 8:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML

by daddy's girl / 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm / United States / Love

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

by airbiscuit / 01/21/2013 at 7:36am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy

Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm / Iceland / Work

Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML

by mel / 01/18/2013 at 6:18pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

by anon / 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous