hansam

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Offline (the 09/21/2014 at 3:12pm)

hansam

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 6 October 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1431
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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hansam's page activity

Visits<b>ForXToday</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 2:15am<b>xXsnowbreezeXx</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 5:05pm<b>ewmoldycheese</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 5:22pm<b>olpally</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 2:05pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 8:42am<b>lolnothanks</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 3:15am<b>Jay_FTW</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 10:57am<b>mariannezr</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 12:02am<b>joea21</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 10:41pm<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 5:56pm<b>That_Ginger</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 3:03pm<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 5:14am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 4:46pm<b>The_Tenth_Doctor</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 5:54am<b>sophiaaxxgrace</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 8:59pm<b>paindnsicuas</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 6:00pm<b>foxxakush</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 10:36pm

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hansam's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom stopped playing badminton with me because she claimed I was too aggressive. Apparently winning, playing by the rules, and smashing is considered aggressive. FML

by moms a baby / 03/30/2014 at 10:44pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother taught my 98-year-old great-uncle to knock on the wall if he needs us. He can't remember who we are; but every hour he can remember to knock to ask, "Is it breakfast yet?" FML

by can't sleep / 03/18/2014 at 4:36am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving along when I noticed a kid struggling to push his car up the crest of a hill. I jumped out to help him, and he acted surprised to see me. Once we got the car over the hill, it rolled on down. I then saw that no one was actually in the driver's seat. I'd helped a vandal. FML

Today, while on a road trip through Australia with my dad, we were both complaining that we had yet to see any kangaroos. Suddenly, we saw one up real close. The rental car saw it even closer. FML

by australian6196 / 02/04/2014 at 9:36pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

by prochainefois / 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm / Intimacy

Today, I realized that my dog has more work experience than I do. He's a retired military working dog, and I have a Master's degree. FML

by Pooper scooper / 01/28/2014 at 3:22am / Guam / Animals

Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML

by rollergirl13 / 01/11/2014 at 12:55am / United States (Alaska) / Love

Today, my 175-pound rottweiler I've raised since a puppy watched me get jumped and robbed of my phone and money in my yard. An hour later, he hopped the fence and chased the mail man down the street after he leaned on the fence for a second. FML

by Zach Got Robbed / 01/08/2014 at 6:02pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, I was at a basketball game. Sitting in the bleachers, I looked over at my friend and said, "Number 33 has a really cute butt." The man in front of us turned around, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "Thanks." Number 33's dad was a very proud father. FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2014 at 12:30am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while there, and when she came back, she was crying. When I asked why, she said "I'm on my period!" and sobbed loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 8:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a long poem that ended with, "Please don't get another mister / I regret I screwed your sister". FML

by notakeeper / 01/02/2014 at 10:50pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I tried to time my ejaculation to happen right as the new year started. FML

by Lonesome / 01/01/2014 at 1:41am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, I received a pair of earrings, a necklace, and some rings as a Christmas gift from my grandma. This would have been nice if I weren't a guy. This is her way of mocking me for wearing what she calls "girl colors", such as white. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2013 at 12:58pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, in my second year at university, I took a pregnancy test. It is the only test I've passed all month. FML

by Anonymous / 11/21/2013 at 7:18pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank: "less often." FML

by :( / 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm / United States (Texas) / Kids