About elibel : Freshman in college
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elibel's favorite FMLs
by mimi / 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML
by someone / 07/29/2011 at 2:26pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/18/2011 at 4:21pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Intimacy
by whyme102008 / 07/13/2011 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML
by Anonymous / 07/11/2011 at 3:42am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by Braxam / 06/15/2011 at 12:42pm / United States / Health
by Bobby M / 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm / Ireland (Carlow) / Health
Today, I confided to my dad that since the recent breakup with my boyfriend of 3 months, I feel down all the time and life doesn't feel worth living anymore. His loving advice was for me to "grow the fuck up and get your sentimental head out of la-la land." FML
by Anonymous / 05/08/2011 at 3:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, a cop pulled me over because there was a sign hidden behind a tree that said "No left turn". As I was getting my ticket, I watched as three cars turned left. The cop saw them, laughed, and said, "I guess you're the unlucky one." FML
by copper / 01/29/2011 at 9:20pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Hannah / 12/21/2010 at 12:01pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy
Today, I'm spending the night with the guy I've been interested in for a while. Instead of sleeping in the same bed together, he insists that I sleep in another room because he "doesn't want to be tempted to do anything." So, I'm alone, in my best lingerie, in his little brother's room. FML
by Anonymous / 12/13/2010 at 9:57am / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/07/2010 at 11:09am / Guatemala (Guatemala) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/04/2010 at 7:39pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML
by Anonymous / 10/20/2010 at 3:00am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by trigfail / 09/25/2010 at 4:57am / New Zealand (Taranaki) / Geek
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…