elibel

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Offline (the 11/26/2016 at 1:43pm)

elibel

3Fucked!

elibelelibel
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3652
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About elibel : Freshman in college

elibel's page activity

Visits<b>iwillreapyou</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 6:02pm<b>Endrex</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 9:53am<b>merikilee</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 6:22am<b>aishah77</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 8:52am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 4:01pm<b>hayleyblack2u71</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 5:47pm<b>vrossie_</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 11:56pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 1:04pm<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 4:19am<b>imarlee98</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 8:39pm<b>WillowB47</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 6:13pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 5:09pm<b>candyolympics</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 8:41pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 7:28pm<b>Roaryah</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 4:13pm<b>CraftedByHand</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 3:08am<b>maxyutd</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 8:15am<b>jb590</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 8:15am

Fucked!<b>imarlee98</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 2:39am<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 4:41am

elibel's FML badges

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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

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Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of elibel's badges

elibel's favorite FMLs

Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML

by Craigslist is Evil. / 09/24/2013 at 2:12pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, I was at work at Krispy Kreme for national "talk like a pirate" day. If you dressed like a pirate you'd get a free dozen donuts. A man came in with just an eyepatch on. Thinking he was trying to get a free dozen, I told him he needed to try harder. Turned out the eyepatch was real. FML

by Jamie / 09/19/2013 at 8:47pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy

Today, I addressed my district manager as "Dude." FML

by goodbyepromotion / 08/30/2013 at 2:28am / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, my sister announced that she and her boyfriend are getting married. Her boyfriend is my husband. We're not even legally divorced yet. FML

by still together / 08/28/2013 at 1:47pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, my mom visited my new apartment for the first time. I was showing her the bedroom, when she looked into my opened sock drawer and said, "Using Durex, eh? Yeah, you were born 'cause a Trojan split." FML

by thanks mom ¬_¬ / 08/24/2013 at 6:05pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by pissing by some drunken loon on a segway. FML

by never thought I'd say that / 08/22/2013 at 3:05pm / Norway (Rogaland) / Transportation

Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML

by none / 08/22/2013 at 12:27am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, my son visited for the first time in three years, asking to stay a while. It turns out he insulted someone online and gave his address in case they wanted to fight him. They accepted the offer, and so my son's imaginary Muay Thai skills went AWOL, along with his testicles. FML

by I fathered a pussy. / 06/14/2013 at 6:12pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML

by what the fuck / 06/07/2013 at 5:20pm / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Intimacy

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I got called an "evil Nazi bitch" because I let a customer know that this is the last day our store will have free plastic bags. FML

by steppppphhhhhh / 04/09/2013 at 4:18am / United States (California) / Work