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elibel

Offline (the 12/18/2014 at 8:14am) | Search for a member

elibel

3Fucked!

elibelelibel
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1993
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About elibel : Freshman in college

elibel's page activity

Visits<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 7:14pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 4:01pm<b>aishah77</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 12:59pm<b>hayleyblack2u71</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 5:47pm<b>vrossie_</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 11:56pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 1:04pm<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 4:19am<b>imarlee98</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 8:39pm<b>WillowB47</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 6:13pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 5:09pm<b>candyolympics</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 8:41pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 7:28pm<b>Roaryah</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 4:13pm<b>CraftedByHand</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 3:08am<b>maxyutd</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 8:15am<b>jb590</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 8:15am<b>natalea_rae</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 10:13pm<b>thebigtwinkie</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 2:46pm

Fucked!<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 1:14am<b>imarlee98</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 2:39am<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 4:41am

elibel's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of elibel's badges

elibel's favorite FMLs

Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML

#20894419
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52958) - you deserved it (5074)

On 09/24/2013 at 2:12pm - intimacy - by Craigslist is Evil. - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was at work at Krispy Kreme for national "talk like a pirate" day. If you dressed like a pirate you'd get a free dozen donuts. A man came in with just an eyepatch on. Thinking he was trying to get a free dozen, I told him he needed to try harder. Turned out the eyepatch was real. FML

#20888238
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45056) - you deserved it (12486)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:47pm - work - by Jamie - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55186) - you deserved it (27710)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I addressed my district manager as "Dude." FML

#20859944
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18965) - you deserved it (38831)

On 08/30/2013 at 2:28am - work - by goodbyepromotion (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my sister announced that she and her boyfriend are getting married. Her boyfriend is my husband. We're not even legally divorced yet. FML

#20857902
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66790) - you deserved it (4021)

On 08/28/2013 at 1:47pm - love - by still together (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom visited my new apartment for the first time. I was showing her the bedroom, when she looked into my opened sock drawer and said, "Using Durex, eh? Yeah, you were born 'cause a Trojan split." FML

#20852599
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41245) - you deserved it (4262)

On 08/24/2013 at 6:05pm - kids - by thanks mom ¬_¬ (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by pissing by some drunken loon on a segway. FML

#20849456
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35128) - you deserved it (2481)

On 08/22/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by never thought I'd say that (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML

#20848750
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55818) - you deserved it (8399)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by none - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

#20820496
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70323) - you deserved it (9284)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my son visited for the first time in three years, asking to stay a while. It turns out he insulted someone online and gave his address in case they wanted to fight him. They accepted the offer, and so my son's imaginary Muay Thai skills went AWOL, along with his testicles. FML

#20726002
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42600) - you deserved it (4530)

On 06/14/2013 at 6:12pm - kids - by I fathered a pussy. (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML

#20712090
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67108) - you deserved it (9248)

On 06/07/2013 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by what the fuck (woman) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57267) - you deserved it (66183)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68313) - you deserved it (19341)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got called an "evil Nazi bitch" because I let a customer know that this is the last day our store will have free plastic bags. FML

#20581805
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34101) - you deserved it (3214)

On 04/09/2013 at 4:18am - work - by steppppphhhhhh - United States (California)



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