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dvojplisen

Offline (the 03/07/2015 at 1:24am) | Search for a member

dvojplisen

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 31 October 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1130
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dvojplisen's page activity

Visits<b>katydid91</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 12:58pm<b>harryisangry</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 8:51am<b>niamhlorren</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 10:52am<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 8:51am

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You've liked someone. How cute!

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dvojplisen's favorite FMLs

Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

#415809
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101915) - you deserved it (45893)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by MrAwsum (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom was helping me clean out stuff from college. She opened a box and took out some anal beads I got as a gag gift. She asked, "What are these?" I answered, "They are for massaging your back". She then insisted I show her. I massaged my mother with anal beads. FML

#300638
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31685) - you deserved it (65505)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by DanniRae (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML

#226271
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27914) - you deserved it (38330)

On 03/06/2009 at 1:53pm - work - by Can't Spell Worth A Damn (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (250871) - you deserved it (33424)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my teacher confiscated my cell phone for text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would receive was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML

#160435
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27843) - you deserved it (96273)

On 02/28/2009 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by textfail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML

#99885
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65225) - you deserved it (6762)

On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - intimacy - by Nails (man) - United States (Illinois)



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