danny3227

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Offline (the 09/18/2016 at 7:21pm)

danny3227

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2218
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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danny3227's page activity

Visits<b>firefighterwife</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 11:23pm<b>trellz17</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 11:51pm<b>Kaboom3971</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 2:10am<b>skygage</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 5:05pm<b>Philiphead</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 7:05pm<b>killer0689</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 4:13am<b>bigoandy89</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 3:22pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 3:12pm<b>Role448</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 4:33pm<b>Awesome_Snivy</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 8:16pm<b>gotaplanstan</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 1:52am<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 10:04am<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 4:43pm<b>AnagenisisZagus</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 2:38am<b>dev241</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 4:13pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 8:53pm<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 1:41pm<b>da_best_eva</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 12:37pm

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danny3227's favorite FMLs

Today, I found my first bra and tried it on. It still fits. FML

by Itsbeen8years / 04/05/2015 at 3:18pm / Slovakia (Bratislava) / Health

Today, I dislocated my toe while putting on my socks. FML

by billy / 03/31/2015 at 6:54am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

by anonymous / 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, it's been almost a week since I returned from my vacation to Ireland. Before I rarely drank. Now I'm pretty sure I'm an alcoholic. You might think I'm joking, but I've woken up hungover every day since I landed there. I basically paid to kill my liver and become AA's next poster child. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2014 at 12:01pm / United States (New York) / Holidays

Today, my boyfriend called me in tears, convinced that he found me in a porn video online. It wasn't me. And when I finally got him to give me the web address, I too started crying at the realization of how fat he thinks I am. FML

by confidence taken / 08/23/2014 at 2:26am / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML

by BagelTheOtaku / 08/20/2014 at 1:15am / United States (Georgia) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

by embarrassed / 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that when someone is choking you don't do the "hymen maneuver", you do the "heimlich maneuver". I was corrected by my girlfriend's parents. FML

by FANZZY / 08/18/2014 at 12:29pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

by you ripped them off ages ago / 08/17/2014 at 2:15am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Kids

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

by gag reflex / 08/16/2014 at 12:03pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML

by thoughthewasjoking / 08/15/2014 at 5:10pm / United States (Alabama) / Money

Today, as I awoke, the sun was shining, the birds were tweeting, and police sirens were wailing at a drug bust next door. FML

by Ithoughtheywerenormalpeople / 08/11/2014 at 1:11am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous