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cyanidesandwich

Offline (the 05/25/2015 at 1:55pm) | Search for a member

cyanidesandwich

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 November 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4166
  • Number of comments : 236
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About cyanidesandwich : I am an awesome guy to be around, i love this site and play some if Kixeye's facebook games in my spare time. I am also proud to say that i have seen both two girls one cup and the BME Pain olympics back to back. ( the first didnt bother me at all, but the second was kind of hard to watch)

cyanidesandwich's page activity

Visits<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 9:34pm<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 12:38pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 5:55pm<b>cmonger</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 6:45pm<b>Dynosaur_dollie</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 9:20am<b>arano</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 7:31pm<b>mibs3</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 2:13pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 1:37pm<b>Driving_Gaming</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 6:09am<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 1:11am<b>raevend</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 7:07am<b>gregsgirlfriend</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 9:06am<b>Star1398</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 11:18am<b>Ranch_Dressing</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 2:04am<b>allyiscute1</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 10:23am<b>abattior</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 4:38am<b>jshakd642</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 6:32pm<b>DaRooster333</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 10:10pm

Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 3:34am<b>iceskata</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 10:39pm<b>Rhinocerus</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 5:33am

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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cyanidesandwich's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15401) - you deserved it (35745)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML

#18649632
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23857) - you deserved it (2882)

On 12/30/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Ashton Sprunger - United States

Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML

#18519378
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24255) - you deserved it (5522)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:30pm - misc - by Grubendol - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12085) - you deserved it (91474)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

#18378519
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26210) - you deserved it (5270)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:44pm - misc - by moopymoplady - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33048) - you deserved it (9247)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML

#17884262
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31610) - you deserved it (3026)

On 10/02/2011 at 2:36am - misc - by Emmy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML

#17789217
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33899) - you deserved it (2976)

On 09/20/2011 at 5:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
431 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56571) - you deserved it (5588)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

#17753266
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36454) - you deserved it (23433)

On 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was in English when I had to use the bathroom. As I was signing out, the teacher said "Don't forget the hall pass!" It was a plunger. I have to walk across my school with a plunger. FML

#17645605
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25318) - you deserved it (4842)

On 09/02/2011 at 4:44pm - misc - by d0rk_ - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

#17586114
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31659) - you deserved it (5458)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39452) - you deserved it (3437)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
409 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32679) - you deserved it (5987)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36244) - you deserved it (9873)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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