courtneycookie

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courtneycookie

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 28 December 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2738
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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courtneycookie's page activity

Visits<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 8:34pm<b>virgilcole505</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 1:42am<b>ToriDiane</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 9:30pm<b>chargers2588</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 3:49pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 1:36am<b>Blakeup</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 11:14am<b>JulieG65</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 11:29pm<b>lumberjack_luke</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 8:13pm<b>HopelesslyCiara5</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 9:44am<b>KiwiExchange</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 1:31pm<b>crackmore278</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 1:03pm<b>RodzillaX</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 1:22am<b>hawkeyepeirce</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 4:25pm<b>Zombiekilla3229</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 5:42pm<b>Faith13</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 1:20pm<b>accioshannon</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 1:48am<b>lolly_bags</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 12:28am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 12:30pm

courtneycookie's FML badges

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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courtneycookie's favorite FMLs

Today, I got my daughter's school pictures. Instead of smiling, she did the duck face. She's 6. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I was reminded that while I have a nice waist, bum and boobs, I'm unspeakably ugly. I was walking down the street when a guy wolf-whistled from behind me, and when I turned around, he visibly recoiled in disgust. FML

by british_babe / 10/05/2013 at 1:51pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 16-year-old daughter burned all her baby photos because they were unflattering and made her "look fat". FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2013 at 7:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm / Switzerland (Bern) / Work

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

by ugh / 09/03/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

by criminal tit offender / 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my period 2 days early, while being interviewed for my dream job. Let's just say that I don't have very high hopes after walking backwards to the exit door and falling down upon colliding with the wall. FML

by faulty plumbimg! / 08/31/2013 at 8:14am / India / Health

Today, I moved into my new place. It evidently used to belong to a hooker, because although I've only lived here for 9 hours, so far several different men have knocked on my door and asked if "Stephanie" is available for a good time. FML

by Anonymous / 08/31/2013 at 3:24am / United Kingdom (Redbridge) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

by thanks, dad... / 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm / Romania (Maramures) / Kids

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, while working at a client's house, I noticed that their sliding calendar was several months off. I fixed it. Later the daughter saw and started crying. Apparently the date was the last one her mother had set it to before she died. FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2013 at 2:50pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, two teenage girls caused a huge scene and told me to get lost, after I asked if they needed any help. Their reasoning: they didn't want to be helped by "someone who doesn't have a thigh gap." FML

by Hannahb17 / 08/23/2013 at 6:21pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my 50-year-old dad was in a foul mood after taking an online test that put him in Slytherin house instead of Ravenclaw where he "belongs" because he's "so smart". FML

by thanksad / 08/22/2013 at 9:38pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got rejected for a job because they claimed I faked my entire resume. Their excuse? I'm too pretty to be smart. FML

by baconbxtch / 08/21/2013 at 10:45pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I got my girlfriend to play Smash Bros Brawl with me. As it was her first time, I set up handicaps to give her at least a shot at winning. She won, quite handily. A little irritated at this, I took off the handicaps and tried again. She beat me even faster. FML

by Loser / 08/21/2013 at 11:17am / United States / Geek