cjtm98

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cjtm98

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cjtm98cjtm98
  • Town/Country : Marianna, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 29 January 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1603
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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cjtm98's page activity

Visits<b>slapstick1982</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 9:52am<b>maddigraphs</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 11:43am<b>aidanurzeti</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 8:22pm<b>Kuibe</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 2:56am<b>caaguilar</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 11:45am<b>mwali02</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 10:35am<b>memphishan</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 9:37pm<b>tayrobchristine</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 8:58am<b>colton_colton</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 12:03am<b>sweetgurl1985</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 9:28am<b>GhostDuck</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 10:27pm<b>krooked777</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 10:21pm<b>Waffleking227</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 2:00am<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 6:23pm<b>commanderstiff</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 3:57pm<b>buymevickis92</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 8:07pm<b>jordaandanielle</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 10:54pm<b>butterfingers583</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 10:42pm

Fucked!<b>buymevickis92</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 2:08am<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 5:57pm<b>BlondePsycho</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 4:33pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 10:41pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 10:14am

cjtm98's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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cjtm98's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting two brothers, 3 and 5. As I was getting the youngest ready to go outside, the older boy, threw open the door, shucked his clothing, and ran off into the woods. I had to carry the 3-year-old as I ran my asthmatic ass after him. FML

by K_nightlight / 09/14/2016 at 8:20pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was carjacked. As he shoved me away from my car, I got hit by another car. He and the other car both drove off. FML

by Garry the Gluten-Free Pizza / 09/13/2016 at 5:17pm / United States / Transportation

Today, it was the first day of school, and I split my pants. In a full class. While on a stage. I'm the teacher, and I wasn't wearing underwear. FML

by full moon / 09/07/2016 at 10:37pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I went to the chiropractor for a check up. She was going through some of the ways to help my posture and mentioned something that I've never heard before. My fat ass thought it was a type of food. Turns out it was a sports routine. FML

by Epithymia / 08/15/2016 at 11:09am / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Health

Today, while I was riding the bus to work, I noticed the guy sitting across from me had shorts on. He also had no underwear on and I could fully see his "parts" just hanging there. I decided to switch seats but as I stood up to move, the bus jerked. I fell face forward right into his "parts". FML

by Justme / 06/30/2016 at 2:20pm / United States (Montana) / Transportation

Today, I got really horny during a 10 hour shift, so I snuck into a storage room and relieved myself. Then as I went to leave the room, I noticed the security camera above the door. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2016 at 10:09am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I got a kitten. She decided to sleep on my bed, waking me up periodically during the night by biting my face to make sure I was still alive. FML

by inveralaska / 06/16/2016 at 5:22pm / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, my best friend was walking next to her crush, so I pushed her into him gently as a joke. She ended up stepping on his foot, which caused him to fall and crack his head against the floor. FML

by wtf / 06/16/2016 at 2:02am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, a stranger nearly beat the crap out of my boyfriend for being a pedo. I ended up showing the guy my driving license to prove I'm not a pre-teen and that I'm just freakishly young looking. FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2016 at 12:38pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife wanted to have a threesome. During our honeymoon. With the maid of honor. I didn't sign up for this. FML

by JustMarried / 05/07/2016 at 5:47pm / Ukraine / Intimacy

Today, I realized that even though I'm marrying my fiancée in 2 weeks, I don't even love her any more. The only reason I'm doing it is because I don't want to upset her or her family, because they think I'm the best thing that ever happened to her. FML

by DoomsDay / 05/06/2016 at 10:23am / Love

Today, my boyfriend keeps requesting that I make eye contact when I give him blowjobs. He won't let up about it. I don't know how to break it to him that his penis is too small for me to suck and look upward at the same time. FML

by oh gee / 05/02/2016 at 1:01am / Intimacy

Today, my new neighbor offered to "humanely capture and relocate" the squirrels in my attic. He then "humanely" shot at them with a BB gun, and the "relocated" them into his stomach once they were killed. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML

by sigh / 04/12/2016 at 10:10pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, I tried to relieve my back pain by lounging in a jacuzzi at my mother's house. All was going well until I accidentally knocked an opened container of bath salts into the tub, which got sucked into the jet system, shooting tiny, sharp, barely dissolved pieces of salt into my back. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2016 at 3:25am / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, my daughter and her "friend" kept using crude euphemisms right in front of me, thinking I was too old or too stupid to figure out what they meant. I nearly had an aneurysm when she told him he could put his "pencil" in her "sharpener" next time they studied together. FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2016 at 9:12am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids