cjtm98

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cjtm98

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cjtm98cjtm98
  • Town/Country : Marianna, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 29 January 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1313
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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cjtm98's page activity

Visits<b>maddigraphs</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 11:43am<b>aidanurzeti</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 8:22pm<b>Kuibe</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 2:56am<b>caaguilar</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 11:45am<b>mwali02</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 10:35am<b>memphishan</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 9:37pm<b>tayrobchristine</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 8:58am<b>colton_colton</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 12:03am<b>sweetgurl1985</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 9:28am<b>GhostDuck</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 10:27pm<b>krooked777</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 10:21pm<b>Waffleking227</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 2:00am<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 6:23pm<b>commanderstiff</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 3:57pm<b>buymevickis92</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 8:07pm<b>jordaandanielle</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 10:54pm<b>butterfingers583</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 10:42pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 3:54pm

Fucked!<b>buymevickis92</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 2:08am<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 5:57pm<b>BlondePsycho</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 4:33pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 10:41pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 10:14am

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cjtm98's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife wanted to have a threesome. During our honeymoon. With the maid of honor. I didn't sign up for this. FML

by JustMarried / 05/07/2016 at 5:47pm / Ukraine / Intimacy

Today, I realized that even though I'm marrying my fiancée in 2 weeks, I don't even love her any more. The only reason I'm doing it is because I don't want to upset her or her family, because they think I'm the best thing that ever happened to her. FML

by DoomsDay / 05/06/2016 at 10:23am / Love

Today, my new neighbor offered to "humanely capture and relocate" the squirrels in my attic. He then "humanely" shot at them with a BB gun, and the "relocated" them into his stomach once they were killed. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML

by sigh / 04/12/2016 at 10:10pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, I tried to relieve my back pain by lounging in a jacuzzi at my mother's house. All was going well until I accidentally knocked an opened container of bath salts into the tub, which got sucked into the jet system, shooting tiny, sharp, barely dissolved pieces of salt into my back. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2016 at 3:25am / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, my daughter and her "friend" kept using crude euphemisms right in front of me, thinking I was too old or too stupid to figure out what they meant. I nearly had an aneurysm when she told him he could put his "pencil" in her "sharpener" next time they studied together. FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2016 at 9:12am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, I asked a customer for a number we could call her at to let her know when we'd finished fixing her PC. I'm so desperately lonely that when she wrote it down for me, I got a raging boner. FML

by Anonymous / 04/08/2016 at 5:01pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try having sex despite her serious body image issues. Unfortunately, I couldn't get it up due to how utterly terrified she looked. Now no matter what I say, she thinks it's all because her body is hideous. FML

by Anonymous / 04/06/2016 at 12:59pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, I met a cute girl. She seemed really sweet and I was heartbroken to find out that she had fallen on hard times and was living in a shelter. I asked her if I could take her out to lunch. She said, "No." I can't even get a date with a homeless girl. FML

by foreverAlone / 04/04/2016 at 3:40pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, for the first time, I made a guy get a boner and make out with me. This would've been great if it hadn't been a dream, and if the guy in question hadn't been my brother. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 11:48am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, my family and I were laying on my parents' bed watching a movie. My dad wrapped his arm around me and began rubbing my shoulder. That would have been fine, if it actually had been my shoulder and not my boob. Needless to say, we were both mortified. FML

by ScarredDaughter / 03/29/2016 at 1:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I delivered a pizza to a former coworker. He answered the door with his pants below his ass and his junk hanging out of his boxers. FML

by sericane / 03/04/2016 at 3:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I donated a dollar to a kids charity at Lowe's. The cashier handed me a star to sign my name, I signed it and gave it back to her. She looked at me with disgust and asked what was wrong with me. I had to pull out my license to prove to her that my name is really Michael Myers. FML

Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML

by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I called the cops on my elderly neighbor for blaring loud war music yet again. They chatted and laughed with him on his lawn for a good half hour. As they left, he slapped the female officer's ass, only for her to just giggle about it. After they drove off, he fired up his music again. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2016 at 12:07am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I randomly got a boner while modeling a character's butt in animation class. FML

by Why / 01/29/2016 at 5:53pm / Miscellaneous