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cjtm98

Offline (the 08/26/2015 at 3:18am) | Search for a member

cjtm98

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 672
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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cjtm98's page activity

Visits<b>mwali02</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 11:15pm<b>buymevickis92</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 8:07pm<b>jordaandanielle</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 10:54pm<b>butterfingers583</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 10:42pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 3:54pm<b>SecretAgent_700</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 12:20pm<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 11:57am<b>BlondePsycho</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 10:33am<b>Twix88</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 9:42am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 8:46am<b>StormGirl142</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 9:23pm<b>deidradanielle</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 4:25am<b>rachgrrr19</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 12:00am<b>viaaaaaa</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 4:40pm<b>Dide9872</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 11:11am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 5:34am<b>kittyninja19</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 7:53pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 5:39pm

Fucked!<b>buymevickis92</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 2:08am<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 5:57pm<b>BlondePsycho</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 4:33pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 10:41pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 10:14am

cjtm98's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of cjtm98's badges

cjtm98's favorite FMLs

Today, a kid on a bike passed me and commented on my "big fat butt." Recognizing him from the neighborhood, I told my husband to go speak to his parents about the inappropriate comment. It turns out his father is the man who yesterday commented on my "big bouncing tits." FML

#21454460
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22574) - you deserved it (1983)

On 08/10/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by Mrs. W. (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, when I noticed a large piece of broccoli wedged between her teeth. I have no idea how she didn't feel it, but I couldn't stop fixating on it and started going soft. I had to cry out, fake an orgasm, then toss the condom really quickly to spare her feelings. FML

#21453082
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21918) - you deserved it (5295)

On 08/07/2015 at 8:51am - intimacy - by horsefuck (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I went over to talk to my boss. I must have snuck up on her because she was masturbating through her pants. She stopped and I had to chat away, pretending I didn't notice. FML

#21452257
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23448) - you deserved it (1870)

On 08/05/2015 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the girl I've loved for years kissed me. Then she started crying and wiping her mouth, and had a panic attack. I had to help her through it, tell her that it was no big deal, and that it would never happen again. FML

Today, I had to imagine myself savagely beating my cat to death, just to stop myself from getting a boner while a girl laid her head in my lap. FML

#21446710
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29020) - you deserved it (4803)

On 07/24/2015 at 8:12pm - intimacy - by strangely - United States (California)

Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML

#21446517
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26363) - you deserved it (2540)

On 07/24/2015 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by fuck (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

#21406233
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34539) - you deserved it (6212)

On 05/07/2015 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by pleasedie - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a text from a guy I hooked up with. I'm not really interested in him, so I rushed out of his house last night. He was letting me know I left my wallet at his house, and if I want it, I'll have to let him take me to dinner. FML

#21405647
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20139) - you deserved it (33971)

On 05/06/2015 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I started getting really bad chest pains at work. I googled it and the internet convinced me I was having a heart attack. Scared for my life, I started to dial for an ambulance when I let out the biggest fart you could ever imagine. Turns out it was trapped gas. FML

#21397265
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26131) - you deserved it (9483)

On 04/21/2015 at 3:55am - health - by Not dying. (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML

#21395685
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22809) - you deserved it (30415)

On 04/18/2015 at 10:38am - love - by fuck (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband told me he doesn't see the point in trying anymore, and that he no longer loves me. I was devastated. He stayed on the couch while I went to bed. Ten minutes later, he said, "Do you mind? I'm trying to sleep." and asked me to shut up. FML

Today, I found out there's a support page on Facebook for people who have been "hurt" by me. FML

#21384648
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16854) - you deserved it (31165)

On 03/31/2015 at 9:41am - misc - by SupportPage - United States (California)

Today, my entire junior class took the ACT. On the last test, a classmate's phone went off, automatically invalidating the whole test. We all have to retake it. FML

Today, I moved to a big city, alone, from a small town. After convincing myself it wasn't that scary, I hailed my first cab. The driver spent the 30 minute ride from the airport telling me about how "sometimes, you just gotta shoot a guy" because if they steal your shoes, they deserve it. FML

#21366058
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28075) - you deserved it (2492)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:22pm - misc - by smalltownkid - United States (Texas)

Today, I found a phone in a fitting room. I called the number that said "home" to let the owner know that I was going to give it to the store's manager. Apparently the husband didn't know his wife was out shopping and "blowing all his earnings". FML

#21359482
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30023) - you deserved it (2548)

On 02/19/2015 at 10:16pm - money - by Enslaved (woman) - United States (Florida)



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