cLaAaNdEsTiNe

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cLaAaNdEsTiNe

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3313
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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cLaAaNdEsTiNe's page activity

Visits<b>cdirick</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 11:13pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 1:16pm<b>accidentalsheep</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 3:45am<b>TheC00lCat</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 3:24pm<b>Rozay333</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 7:08am<b>ILoveHashtags</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 1:49am<b>annabanana0328</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 1:40pm<b>tralala453</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 1:11pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/01/2009 at 4:36pm<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 08/21/2009 at 10:49pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 08/20/2009 at 4:59pm<b>prplr</b> - the 08/20/2009 at 3:52pm

cLaAaNdEsTiNe's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

cLaAaNdEsTiNe's favorite FMLs

Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. And I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML

by no_hullabalo / 09/04/2009 at 10:50am / Taiwan (T'ai-wan) / Miscellaneous

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

by Scarred / 09/04/2009 at 1:15am / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2009 at 1:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to ride my rusty old bike to work, since it will help the environment. I was standing up and had a tight grip on the handle bars. The handle bars came off and I fell down on the cross bar, busting my nuts. FML

by David / 09/01/2009 at 12:03am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I was hurrying for the bus home from work. It was raining and I had my umbrella up. As I hurried by two women, I felt my umbrella hit one of them on the head. I turned to apologise and saw her standing with her hands on her newly bald head. My umbrella had lifted her wig off her head. FML

by Karen / 08/31/2009 at 10:48am / United Kingdom (London) / Transportation

Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML

by crawfo / 08/31/2009 at 9:54am / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML

by mel / 08/30/2009 at 11:23am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML

by Ned / 08/29/2009 at 7:36pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the park with my autistic son when I noticed a teenage girl imitating him by flapping her hands and walking on her toes. Fed up with children mocking my son, I went over and sternly lectured the girl's mother. Turns out, her daughter is autistic too and will be in my son's class. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2009 at 1:03pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2009 at 11:35am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was getting into work, I saw a co-worker of mine walking in front of me. We're really good friends and we joke around a lot, so I jokingly whistled at him and slapped his butt. Turns out it wasn't my friend, it was the new guy. Hello, sexual harassment charges. FML

by introuble / 08/23/2009 at 12:48am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, as I was getting into work, I saw a co-worker of mine walking in front of me. We're really good friends and we joke around a lot, so I jokingly whistled at him and slapped his butt. Turns out it wasn't my friend, it was the new guy. Hello, sexual harassment charges. FML

by introuble / 08/23/2009 at 12:48am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, it was my birthday. My parents came into my room at 12:01 to surprise me. Do you know what fifteen year olds do at midnight? FML

by urmommmm / 08/22/2009 at 12:25pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my family bet me $20 to wear a Disney Princess hat for the entire day around a theme park. I am 17 years old. We decided to go for lunch in one of the restaurants. After we finished, a woman gave my parents a leaflet on how to cope with disabled children. FML

by Becky / 08/21/2009 at 7:51pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Miscellaneous