Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

birdfreak

Search for a member

birdfreak

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12178
  • Number of comments : 496
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About birdfreak : Stuff about me is supposed to go here, but I have nothing interesting to say...
Have a lovely day!

birdfreak's page activity

Visits<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 2:49pm<b>aredvulpix</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 11:16pm<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 7:19am<b>Cian_1</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 7:07pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 10:06pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 1:26pm<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 3:29pm<b>03stroker03</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 9:16pm<b>hasanjk</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 9:51am<b>Amiiii</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 7:33am<b>Nailpolishaholic</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 4:29am<b>KK_Kam</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 10:51pm<b>Sober_CJ</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 5:58pm<b>justanormalone</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 7:44am<b>eminemineminem</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 3:58pm<b>daximoose</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 2:35pm<b>cheese7272</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 4:42am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 1:38am

birdfreak's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of birdfreak's badges

birdfreak's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran into an old student of mine at the grocery store. She didn't recognize me at first so I introduced myself as her old teacher. She looked taken aback for a moment, and then said, "Oh my God... you're still alive?" FML

#3141332
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53159) - you deserved it (3971)

On 06/23/2009 at 7:31am - misc - by feelinblue (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I ran into an old student of mine at the grocery store. She didn't recognize me at first so I introduced myself as her old teacher. She looked taken aback for a moment, and then said, "Oh my God... you're still alive?" FML

#3141332
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53159) - you deserved it (3971)

On 06/23/2009 at 7:31am - misc - by feelinblue (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I spent 4 hours carefully cleaning the inside and outside of my car. Fairly proud of the job I had done, I parked my car safely in my garage. Later, I opened my garage to find bird shit all over my car. Apparently birds get nervous when they get trapped in garages. FML

#3096278
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39264) - you deserved it (5050)

On 06/21/2009 at 5:41pm - animals - by FML (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. While I was at the store, an employee came up to me and said, "You're beautiful!" When I came home I told my husband what had just happened. My husband then asked, "What was wrong with him?" FML

#2999612
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50491) - you deserved it (5054)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:40pm - love - by Ann (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my left-handed boss needed PC help. I said "right-click for the menu." She said nothing happened. Three times we went through this. Eventually I went over, asking her to show me what she did. She was using her right hand on the left mouse button. She earns £10,000 more than me. FML

#2798980
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60032) - you deserved it (3118)

On 06/11/2009 at 11:21am - work - by girlfriday (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had just a few dominoes left to complete the whole project that I've been working on for about three weeks. I pressed record on my video camera, flicked the first domino, and watched with pride. When it finished, I realized I hadn't actually pressed record. FML

#2766675
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44771) - you deserved it (29467)

On 06/10/2009 at 7:39am - misc - by DamnDominoes (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I busted my ass to help this old lady move her stuff because she was going to a nursing home. I was told I would get paid. When I finished four hours later the lady took me to a room and told me to pick out anything in her little goody bag. I got a race car as payment. FML

#2766394
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50492) - you deserved it (8982)

On 06/10/2009 at 7:03am - work - by person (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was playing paintball when I noticed a 9 year old fat kid sitting and crying on the ground. Thinking he'd fallen and was hurt, I walked over to him. He looks up and shoots me in the face, arm, stomach, and happy sacks area from 4 feet away then runs off. He was not hurt at all, and now everything tastes like paint. FML

#2734001
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45223) - you deserved it (7935)

On 06/09/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Woody - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I woke up hungover and thirsty, I found a glass of water next to the sink, filled it up with more water, chugged it and went back to bed. I woke up an hour later to my best friend telling me she thought she lost her contacts. They were in a glass next to the sink. I ate her contacts. FML

#2711154
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30647) - you deserved it (40352)

On 06/08/2009 at 2:54am - misc - by KBO (woman) - Australia

Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML

#2695663
448 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26378) - you deserved it (56943)

On 06/07/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by Jebus (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was babysitting a little boy. I opened up a new bottle of bubbles and it was all goopy and gross so I said "Eww!". The boy then asks, "What's "ew" mean?". I replied with, "Something gross and yucky". Then he pointed at my face and say "Ew! Ew! Ewwww!". FML

#2658966
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52879) - you deserved it (8362)

On 06/06/2009 at 12:23pm - kids - by EwFace (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

#2612293
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32113) - you deserved it (77722)

On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

#2612293
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32113) - you deserved it (77722)

On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: