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babe7260's favorite FMLs
Today, at work I was ringing up some tampons for a woman, and I try to interact with the shoppers as much as possible. I was trying to think of something witty or funny to say but drew a blank, so I decided just to say "have a nice night." What I actually said was "have a nice flow". FML
by iluvjenknee / 01/22/2010 at 1:26am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
by masterzach21 / 01/22/2010 at 1:25am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/22/2010 at 12:02am / United States (Nevada) / Love
Today, I was at my work. To urge people to be generous, I paid my friends to put 15 bucks in the tip jar while saying how great I was. He did this about ten times throughout the day. Turns out, us employees don't get to keep the tips. FML
by Anonymous / 01/21/2010 at 9:49pm / United States (California) / Money
Today, I'm a cashier in a grocery store. The visiting regional manager tore me a new one for being lazy. His reason? After working a double shift with no break, I decided to sit down for a minute when things got slow. FML
by Bob / 01/21/2010 at 8:33am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, holding my newborn baby and yearning for some affection from my mother, I asked my mom what the best day of her life was, hoping she would say the day I was born. Her answer? "The day you moved out." She was serious. FML
by ilovemom / 01/21/2010 at 12:41am / United States (Nevada) / Kids
Today, after I drank way too much, my friend pulled the car over so I could throw up. Next to my pile of puke was a discarded shoe that looked remarkably like one from my favorite pair. When I got home, I realized that my left shoe was missing. FML
by Shoeless / 01/20/2010 at 3:16pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML
by ilovesocks / 01/20/2010 at 1:17am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/20/2010 at 12:22am / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous
Today, my female room-mate decided to throw away my xbox, along with a few other possessions because they reminded her of her ex. Furiously, I asked her if "it was that time of the month again." Now I can't feel my balls, and miss my games. FML
by NYCguy / 01/19/2010 at 10:59pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by sportyhusband / 01/19/2010 at 10:46pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, I got out of bed and went downstairs in my boxers to get a glass of water. I entered the kitchen and said hi to my visiting mother-in-law, who smiled. Only after a good ten minutes did she decide to tell me that my "wanker-stick" was hanging from a gap in my boxers. FML
by kappaomicron / 01/19/2010 at 6:18pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, after spending four days having my resume, cover letter, and references proofread and perfected by professionals, I finally submitted it all to the summer internship of my dreams. I received a rejection letter ten minutes later. FML
by PiMan / 01/19/2010 at 2:20pm / United States (Alaska) / Work
Today, my two boys decided to draw in permanent marker on the leather seats of the car I have had up for sale for 3 weeks with no interest. I call my husband to tell him we're going to have to keep it. He just made an appointment with a guy who has cash and is ready to buy it tomorrow. FML
by momof2boys / 01/19/2010 at 4:59am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Fatlady43 / 01/19/2010 at 12:08am / United States (California) / Health
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…