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Offline (the 03/01/2015 at 11:39pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2919
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About ariverperson : I like Red Hot Chili Peppers, Lord of the Rings and hash browns

ariverperson's page activity

Visits<b>ThatGuyBrennen1</b> - the 10/04/2016 at 9:29pm<b>SRU22</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 12:30am<b>xfireds</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 6:45pm<b>TexanZaros</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 7:56pm<b>astrodick</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 5:36pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 11:41pm<b>burnanator</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 11:43am<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 6:45pm<b>Earthdforce</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 10:36pm<b>DrSirSexyLegs</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 3:25am<b>dno79</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 11:51pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 5:59pm<b>nomad6</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 8:59pm<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 7:31pm<b>UncleHoodie</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 11:47am<b>StarOfDoom</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 6:08pm<b>Loomunati</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 9:23am<b>PresAgent</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 1:08pm

Fucked!<b>astrodick</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 11:36pm<b>Earthdforce</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 3:36am<b>DrSirSexyLegs</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 9:26am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 8:55pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 10:57pm<b>Boss302x</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 5:04am

ariverperson's FML badges


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ariverperson's favorite FMLs

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 12:56am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after I spent two hours trying to teach my girlfriend to play sudoku, she broke up with me, tearfully claiming that I'd made up a fake, imaginary game to make her feel stupid. FML

by Anonymous / 11/18/2012 at 7:13am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

by thanks, fuckface / 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

by thekriss / 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm / Love

Today, I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying and getting laid. When I finally escaped the testosterone and got home, the first thing I heard was my grandpa telling my dad all about how he once fisted a girl to orgasm. FML

by what the FUCK / 08/15/2012 at 6:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML

by LNamesOnly / 07/09/2012 at 3:31am / Australia / Kids

Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML

by FauteuilEver Alone / 07/05/2012 at 4:11am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I was woken up by a noise coming from the bathroom. Upon investigation, I discovered my very drunk, giggling girlfriend attempting to urinate standing up. Carefully note the word "attempting". FML

by SprinklerDodger / 06/08/2012 at 7:54pm / Denmark (Syddanmark) / Love

Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML

by Tristan Brantley / 03/11/2012 at 3:36am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML

by bunnyluver4545 / 01/11/2012 at 12:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She got my cock out, stopped, and told me it looked like "Rufus the naked mole rat." She spent the next 20 minutes showing me pictures, describing in detail why they looked similar, and laughing. FML

by rufusthepenis / 10/02/2011 at 6:57pm / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML

by ohmaigawd / 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm / Argentina / Intimacy

Today, while flicking my bean, I was thinking about my boyfriend who moved to California last week. Before I came, I had to stop because I started crying. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2011 at 8:25pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

by Rachel / 06/10/2011 at 5:57am / United States (Alabama) / Kids

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

by lerouxmaster / 12/22/2010 at 6:43am / Kids