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alliekins

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alliekins
  • Town/Country : Calgary, Canada
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Saturday 4 March 1989 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 34
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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alliekins's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to treat a cut on my butt hole with Neosporin. I couldn't see it properly, so I had to use the front-facing camera on my phone. FML

#18973546
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14860) - you deserved it (4563)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:57pm - health - by 11niko (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, out of my bedroom window, I can see my next door neighbour's window. On his ledge, I can see binoculars, tissues and vaseline. FML

#17818557
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40085) - you deserved it (4102)

On 09/24/2011 at 3:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, two guys proclaiming that they were both Batman attacked me on the street. FML

#17316735
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26293) - you deserved it (2933)

On 07/31/2011 at 2:17am - health - by The Joker? - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was at the mall with my friends, when a creepy man sat at the table next to us, and started rubbing his crotch, his gaze never leaving my feet. FML

#15482559
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33155) - you deserved it (3491)

On 03/25/2011 at 1:31pm - intimacy - by ewww - United States

Today, my fiancé ended our engagement, saying he wanted to have "one last quickie" for the road. He saw nothing wrong with that. FML

#14787217
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28029) - you deserved it (3304)

On 01/31/2011 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

#14753781
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46236) - you deserved it (3810) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, I received a bouquet of flowers from my boyfriend, which is something he's never done before. Unfortunately, this was his way of apologizing for cheating on me. FML

#14734068
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27567) - you deserved it (2565)

On 01/27/2011 at 5:53pm - love - by Azure_Mist (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to use my butthole to negotiate with my husband so I can get a new tattoo. FML

#12753768
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12876) - you deserved it (45848)

On 08/26/2010 at 9:32am - intimacy - by H8TR (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found a pile of animal skeletons scattered in my backyard. It appears that last night, mother nature decided to rain so hard, that the graves of my childhood pets floated back up to the top, and covered half of my field. I now have to pick all of it up before my dog sees them. FML

#12396014
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31009) - you deserved it (3218)

On 08/08/2010 at 7:27pm - animals - by L.Lime05 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sat to the right of a girl I really like. I passed her a note asking her to homecoming. She read it, then hurriedly passed it to a hideous girl sitting on her left, who said yes, then hugged me. FML

#5598991
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31307) - you deserved it (9745)

On 10/02/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by asshole (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend of two years, who is a fabulous guitarist and singer, told me he wrote me a song. I was so excited. Turns out it was a break up song. FML

#1399527
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56824) - you deserved it (3539)

On 04/27/2009 at 5:47pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, was the first time my boyfriend slept over. He was hard, so I woke him up by whispering in his ear, "If you could get me to do anything right now, what would it be?" His response, "Can you get me a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream?" He was hard, for ice cream. FML

#796912
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75829) - you deserved it (11972)

On 04/04/2009 at 6:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Denmark (Roskilde)

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

#794025
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66340) - you deserved it (16924)

On 04/04/2009 at 12:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

#7370
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16270) - you deserved it (26798)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)



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