Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ZomboticKitteh

Offline (the 02/06/2015 at 5:43am) | Search for a member

ZomboticKitteh

2Liked!

ZomboticKittehZomboticKitteh
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 224
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ZomboticKitteh : Creepin on my page? I'll return the favor.

ZomboticKitteh's page activity

Visits<b>dextrementor</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 9:18am<b>xninix</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 4:54pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 7:07pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 3:06pm<b>AprilBlahBlah</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 6:01am<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 6:31pm<b>Sebastian2022</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 3:39am<b>saba_ajira</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 5:58am<b>whereismyb4con</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 2:56am<b>Mario_mane</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 10:03am<b>Paulvuck</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 8:08pm<b>Infamous278</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 3:43pm<b>FrostyKittens</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 8:03pm<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 6:32pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 4:41pm<b>Just_A_Tree</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 6:38pm<b>yourbestguess</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 2:04pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 8:37am

Liked!<b>AprilBlahBlah</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 12:02pm<b>ForeverSilent101</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 4:20am

ZomboticKitteh's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of ZomboticKitteh's badges

ZomboticKitteh's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend again told me how he wants to have an open relationship. Of course, this means he can do what he likes with anyone, but if I so much as kiss someone else, I'm a cheating slut. FML

#21252587
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48393) - you deserved it (7642)

On 09/05/2014 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by onlywantuanyway -

Today, I gave up trying to make any friends at my job as a firefighter. I'm the lone female, and am the subject of gossip with the older men. Anyone I try to befriend ends up hitting on me, while others won't even talk to me because their wives are jealous. FML

#21159616
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48968) - you deserved it (5176)

On 06/01/2014 at 5:53pm - work - by anikah (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I finally gave in to my long-distance boyfriend's requests and texted him dirty things. Any time I would send him something, he would reply, "What?" or "What do you mean?" Either I'm not doing this right, or I'm in a relationship with the most innocent person ever. FML

#21086172
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47883) - you deserved it (6802)

On 03/14/2014 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, during a firework show, my dog gave me her opinion about them by practically eating half my bedroom door then defecating on my bed. FML

#20764553
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36062) - you deserved it (7154)

On 07/05/2013 at 1:43am - animals - by damn dog - United States

Today, I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticed a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing directly towards the shower which I stood in butt-naked. I live by myself and have recently only moved in. FML

#20627067
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62352) - you deserved it (3330)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by wtfisgoingon (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was babysitting, and after the kids fell asleep I started hiding the Easter candy. They woke up when I was half-done, and it didn't take them long to figure out what was going on. They won't stop crying, and every time I go near them, they scream "LIAR!" FML

#20569899
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33807) - you deserved it (7420)

On 04/01/2013 at 12:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21418) - you deserved it (61384)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, while I was having sex, he stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?" FML

#20458937
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44463) - you deserved it (9237)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML

#20189568
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38971) - you deserved it (3167)

On 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by karmamaybe - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23049) - you deserved it (18544)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling nauseous and my cat was comforting me. I breathed in through my nose, and my cat's fur caused me to sneeze. I sneezed so hard, I threw up out my nose. Nothing will get rid of the smell from within my nasal cavity. FML

#13934575
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28112) - you deserved it (3441)

On 11/22/2010 at 6:33am - health - by can't breathe - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was home alone. It was very dark and so I went to turn on the lights, when I heard the sound of a gun loading. I dropped to the floor but never heard a gun fire. I got up and heard the sound again. When I got lights on, I discovered it was only my printer telling me it was out of paper. FML

#8882513
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8878) - you deserved it (21845)

On 03/07/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by OhaiiKid (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was on the phone with my best guy friend, who I have loved for years. I was talking about school and all of a sudden he said "I love you." I flipped out saying "Oh my god, oh my god. I love you, too!" He responded with "what?" He was talking to his mom, who was walking out the door. FML

#2537729
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64347) - you deserved it (16301)

On 06/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was swimming in the ocean with my best friend and a giant wave came and knocked off the bottom of my bikini. My friend told me that she would go get another bottom so I could walk onto the very crowded beach. She left me for half an hour, laughing from the shore with her entire family. FML

#397272
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84140) - you deserved it (5886)

On 03/16/2009 at 9:04pm - misc - by paymeinhugs - United States (New York)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: