Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Xenon1386

Search for a member

Xenon1386
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 201
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Xenon1386 : I am just a lonely random stick figure

Xenon1386's last visitors

Linda_zlkStormdragon2600JVVortexsuperalubbamasterofflightyahoowizardAllornoneiammeoramiplayingwithtimeFooxieRodzillaXcrazycookiecr

Xenon1386's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Xenon1386's badges

Xenon1386's favorite FMLs

Today, I went bowling. I noticed a 10-year-old holding an iPod Touch which had the exact same customized case with my name on it as my iPod that was stolen a year ago at the same bowling centre. Even better, the parents yelled at me for accusing him. I got kicked out the bowling centre. FML

Today, after saving up for weeks, I bought myself an iPad. Because mine is better than the one my parents bought my ten-year-old brother, he got pissed and threw it into our pool. I'm now grounded for getting angry and calling him a bastard in the aftermath. FML

#20112275
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31301) - you deserved it (2000)

On 10/11/2012 at 4:37pm - misc - by future missing person maker person thingy (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I came home from a three day vacation to find my psycho ex-girlfriend in my house. Even though I broke up with her six months ago, she hasn't broken up with me. It's alright though, she says she's going to forgive me and she already moved her stuff in when I was out of town. FML

#20103889
138 comments

Today, I realized I might lose my job because some asshole customer complained about me to my district manager. His complaint? Girls can't work at video game stores. My DM agreed. FML

#20098150
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23637) - you deserved it (1620)

On 10/02/2012 at 9:11am - work - by GamerTag (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom turned off all internet access in our house because she thought I spent too much time on the computer. She later asked me why she couldn't get on Facebook. FML

Today, I received a call from my future sister in-law, telling me that she and her future husband had decided to hold their wedding ceremony on my birthday. I was told not to celebrate my birthday, as it would "take away the attention to the true meaning of the day." FML

Today, a kid got his hand stuck inside my store's giant gumball machine. He started crying, and his negligent train-wreck of a mom bitched me out for being "unobservant." I'd been mopping up the mess she'd made after she spilled an open can of beer all over the floor. FML

#19839464
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25607) - you deserved it (1338)

On 06/24/2012 at 2:41pm - work - by hannaslifesucks (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML

#19719129
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32404) - you deserved it (2357)

On 06/02/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by ironyisabitch - United States (California)

Today, my apartment was robbed by my landlord. Her logic? "I own the building, and therefore everything in it." That TV cost more than my rent. FML

#19572629
264 comments

Today, I fought back with words against a bully. He cried, and I got detention. FML

#19085871
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31602) - you deserved it (2264)

On 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm - misc - by sharpie2792 - United States

Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML

#18834443
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32879) - you deserved it (2875)

On 01/17/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by littlelottie - United States (Florida)

Today, I found a wallet containing an ID card. I managed to track down the owner, who now is threatening to call the police if I don't return the 400 dollars that he insists were also in it. FML

#18577886
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26949) - you deserved it (1796)

On 12/22/2011 at 7:04am - misc - by JackSteely -

Today, my mom yelled at me because I refused to lend her money. The reason I won't lend her money? The last time I did, she and my dad went out and bought a Macbook and a new car instead of paying bills. Apparently I'm being 'selfish' by keeping my own money and putting it towards university. FML

#17951348
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33281) - you deserved it (2030)

On 10/10/2011 at 11:24am - misc - by Anon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my first day at school in the United States. Being from France, my French accent is really strong. After being made fun of all day, I met someone from Montreal. I was so excited and said, "Parlez-vous Français?" And his response? "HUH?!" FML

#17754164
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25228) - you deserved it (5306)

On 09/15/2011 at 9:42pm - misc - by Frenchgirl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML

#17610443
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31521) - you deserved it (2436)

On 08/29/2011 at 4:33am - health - by SoupCanoe - United Kingdom (Hampshire)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: